lostnjunk
New Member
Joined: September 2009
Posts: 92
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Post by lostnjunk on Mar 28, 2010 22:18:00 GMT -5
I'm so sorry Misc, stuck my foot in my mouth again. Guess I have been a bit down on men lately. I didnt mean to say anything disparaging about your life, just not thinking as usual. I wont be around to upset you anymore tho so you dont have to worry about it happening again.
Sincerely,
LostNjunk
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MiSC
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,611 
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Post by MiSC on Mar 28, 2010 23:49:19 GMT -5
Apology accepted. Thank you.
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beanie
New Member
Joined: August 2009
Posts: 30
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Post by beanie on Mar 29, 2010 0:04:29 GMT -5
((((Lostie)))), my buddy, my friend,
Please don't let anyone forcefully dictate to you how to feel or what you can or cannot say about men or any other subject. What happened to freedom of speech? I don't think any relationship between a man and a woman is perfect, and those who act like it is only "heavenly bliss" are covering up real true sadness in their lives, and really aren't as happy as they claim to be....
Please don't consider leaving, you have many good friends on chat that love you to pieces and even when you fall to pieces. I will truly miss you if you don't come back. And, you can say anything you want to to me, vent all you want. I'm your friend and you can say anything you want to to me.
Love,
Beanie
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Mar 29, 2010 10:49:32 GMT -5
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MiSC
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,611
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Post by MiSC on Mar 29, 2010 12:02:57 GMT -5
Lost, someone asked me if I'd apologized to you, and I haven't, so I'm sorry. I won't go into all the reasons why I believe I basically panicked and went off on you, but I shouldn't have called you names.
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lostnjunk
New Member
Joined: September 2009
Posts: 92
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Post by lostnjunk on Mar 29, 2010 12:13:38 GMT -5
Thank you Misc for your apology. I guess the thing we all need to remember is we are all coming from different places in our emotions and life experiences and not everything people say is intended to hurt them, its just our experience in life that causes us to have a certain reaction. I hope you will understand that no one here would intentionally say something to hurt your feelings honestly. Sometimes a lot just depends on the day too and what we have been up against as to how we react to something. I'm really sorry tho that something I said caused you any pain. I didnt do it intentionally. Things just pop out occassionally, the hazards of being imperfect people. If we can hold ourselves back a minute and just discuss what went on it works out better in the long run. We dont want to lose anyone here because we never know which person here might be the one who helps us immensely to overcome the problems we are here for. I hope we can put this behind us and continue to be friendly towards each other.  to Misc Lostie |
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MiSC
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,611
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Post by MiSC on Mar 29, 2010 15:09:09 GMT -5
If we can hold ourselves back a minute and just discuss what went on it works out better in the long run. I got everything except this part. Do you and I need to talk about last night? I'm fine either way. And we can do it in public or in private. Whatever you want to do is fine by me.  |
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Mar 29, 2010 15:33:50 GMT -5
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Lion's apology to the chatters from last night:
I was not present during last night's incident. I was logged into chat, but not at my computer.
I had left chat for an hour ... to go to the store.
The incident took place while I was gone.
When I returned, I heard several accounts of what had happened.
I formed an opinion ... based on incomplete information.
Then I made the mistake of commenting on the situation -- without waiting to get all the facts.
I appeared to take sides, which was totally inappropriate.
It was not my place to comment on something I didn't witness.
Although my intention was to be helpful, ... it wasn't helpful at all!
I apologize to the other chatters for giving a commentary when I didn't have all the facts.
My comments made some people feel worse.
I was wrong.
I am truly sorry.
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lostnjunk
New Member
Joined: September 2009
Posts: 92
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Post by lostnjunk on Mar 29, 2010 15:50:48 GMT -5
Sorry Misc sometimes what we say seems so vague. In my mind this incident is over. What I was meaning was right at the time somthing is said that hurts a persons feelings rather than getting all upset lets try to first let the other person know that what they just said hurt your feelings or upset us and just why or somewhat why anyway, then others will understand how things affect each of us and lets talk it over immediately and if whatever was said was unintentional or just mispoken or misunderstood it can be taken care of in a way that will create less upset for everybody.
We are all friends here, we are here for a good reason, and we dont want to destroy our relationships with each other by saying things that hurt others or taking offense immediately without trying to figure out what really was meant. Theres just so many better ways to sort these things out and we are all grownups here and can fix things in a peaceful way. I'm sure we can all manage that if we think ahead of what our response could be if a situation like that happens again. I chose to leave the chat last night because given the situation I figured trying to explain anything at that point might just inflame things more. Sometimes I'm just not so good forming thoughts and wording things and I'm sure I'm not the only one that happens to.
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MiSC
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,611
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Post by MiSC on Mar 29, 2010 16:22:11 GMT -5
Sometimes I'm just not so good forming thoughts and wording things and I'm sure I'm not the only one that happens to. Well, we know what happens to ME when one of my red hot buttons is pressed. It's the equivalent to a monkey slinging poo. I honestly did. not. know. why I responded that way until today. I was talking to Lion, and we got off on a tangent that ended up shedding a very bright light on that portion of my psyche. I can't promise that I'll never feel that way again, but I can promise to take that pretty huge facet of myself into consideration. And hopefully, well before the slinging of the poo. |
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Post by mellowyellow on Mar 29, 2010 17:53:38 GMT -5
As someone who Was there for the entire conversation, I can say that I am so relieved to read people communicating together. We come from all different situations/backgrounds, and for some of us, conflict that we have no control over is very scary  . I worried a lot over this situation last night, and feel so much better now. As for the details, I think this is best discussed privately to avoid people gossiping or "picking sides". I really appreciate seeing this thread. |
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Post by Looking_Forward on Mar 29, 2010 21:56:09 GMT -5
I'm so happy to see this thread, I left last night feeling sad and now I have warm fuzzies again.
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Post by bigtimetroubles on Mar 30, 2010 7:17:43 GMT -5
just glad I was not there....I love all of us and hate it when any of us does not see that we all love each of us....
I was in chat earlier and may have felt I goofed too....so who knows...I goofed in chat myself last night....hope nobody went off tangently about my goof ups....
hugs btt
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Post by def6 on Mar 30, 2010 14:50:49 GMT -5
Lost In Junk, Please come back to chat.  |
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lostnjunk
New Member
Joined: September 2009
Posts: 92
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Post by lostnjunk on Mar 30, 2010 15:25:27 GMT -5
Thank you def6. You dont know how much that means to me. I love you guys really. I'll be back but I need some time. Wasnt even sure I would be particularly missed. I do have a run-on mouth thats not always appreciated. I know Misc apologized and I do accept that, but as someone on another thread said, when you say things they are there, they cant be taken back, I have to have time to heal.
Lion was absolutely correct in her thought about people who have dealt with abuse. I grew up in a very abusive sitation by my own family, they still act like they hate me. I have pain every time I think about it, I try not to. I was shocked to be verbally abused like that out of seemingly nowhere for an offhand remark just in trying to make another member with family problems feel a little better. I live pain every day, bodily, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Now why, can you tell me, would I want to subject myself to that on my free time, my fun time, my chat time with supposed friends on the internet? No I'm not blaming innocent ones if it sounds like that, sorry. I just need some time right now.
I will always be a sqauleror no matter how decent things seem at the moment, there is still too much stuff here and its been purged and so now I have the hardest decisions to make with it and I know I wont be able to do that by myself. This board is a great tool, no doubt about it and my reasons for coming back would not be purely for myself because many someones were here to help me do this, who will be there for the new people if I dont come back and share my experiences?
I know that early on some have even doubted that I am a sqauloror, I know my real friends know the truth, they have seen the pictures. I dont know why anyone would think just because of the reason you found the site that you are anything less than you have purported yourself to be until you prove to be otherwise. I felt somewhat put off by the fact that those people would think that I am dishonest about it all too, how judgemental is that? Also this is not the first time something along this line has happened to me here. Early on when I was in chat I was at the edge of an altercation and I chose to just shut up and let it pass rather than escalate.
I'm sorry the rest of you had to be exposed to this and that it upset you too. Life seems hard enough without these things adding to it. All I can say right now is that I'm sad, just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. I dont know why it should bother me this way since on other types of chats things like this seem to be a regular occurrance. When they become so tho I do usually resign because of it, again why should I expose myself to uneccesary hurt on activities that I have chosen to particpate in myself, that would just be masochistic. As you can see I have not left entirely and have not quit reading here. I appreciate that Misc did come and apologize. I dont feel that any disagreement ever rationalizes being abusive to anyone and I hope we have all learned something from this. I think that people can say I disagree with that statment, for this reason. You might teach me something, I might even change my viewpoint, I might realize I made a rash generality, or I might just have to agree to disagree with your viewpoint on it. Anyway will talk to you all later and take care and hoping when I come back that you have all made great strides in your progress.
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