|
Post by messymimi on Nov 28, 2014 14:32:28 GMT -5
"When our perils are past, shall our gratitude sleep?" ~ George Canning
messymimi
|
|
|
Post by messymimi on Nov 29, 2014 8:31:40 GMT -5
"Fresh clean sheets are one of life's small joys." ~ Animal Crossing: Wild World (Nintendo video game) written by Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka, and Toshihiro Kawabata
messymimi
|
|
|
Post by messymimi on Nov 30, 2014 7:52:24 GMT -5
"Gratitude is the music of the heart, when its chords are swept by the breeze of kindness." ~ Author Unknown
messymimi
|
|
|
Post by messymimi on Dec 1, 2014 18:57:11 GMT -5
For today, a fun quote to bump up the thread.
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else." ~ Margaret Mead
messymimi
|
|
|
Post by disorganizeddragon on Dec 2, 2014 1:31:29 GMT -5
"There cannot be a stressful crisis next week. My schedule is already full."--Henry KissingerIf the holidays are supposed to be "the most wonderful time of the year", why are they so stressful? If you're spending the season with family and friends, there's the pressure to clean, put up decorations, buy gifts, cook all the right dishes in all the right amounts, etc. If family and friends are far away, you're spending the holidays alone, or you don't celebrate for whatever reason, you can easily spend a lot of time feeling stressed due to the inability to smack all the people who expect you to be in a celebratory mood or the impossibility of escaping the constant barrage of Christmas music. So since laughter is often the best defense against most of the things that irritate us the most, this month's quotes will all be humorous and they won't all be about the holidays. People, pets, cleaning, cooking, diets, desserts, whatever--everything is game. So if you need a chuckle while preparing (or not preparing) for the approaching Christmas season, stop by--and as always, please feel free to add any of your own. "I've taken up photography because it's the only hobby where I can shoot people and cut off their heads without going to jail."--Aunty Acid
"How To Shop Online: 1. Go to favorite shopping site. 2. Put everything you want in shopping cart. 3. Go to checkout and look at subtotal. 4. Laugh hysterically and close tab."--Unknown
"To a cat, 'No' means 'Not while I'm looking.'"--Unknown
"(Thoughts on Christmas Shopping): Wouldn't it be wonderful to find one gift that you didn't have to dust, that had to be used right away, that was practical, fit everyone, was personal and would be remembered for a long time? I penciled in 'Gift certificate for a flu shot.'"--Erma Bombeck
"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."--Dave Barry
"Sure, I thought about cleaning the house. But then I thought, 'What's the house done for me lately?'"--Maxine
|
|
|
Post by lesaulerouge on Dec 2, 2014 2:26:23 GMT -5
Not sure whether this fits the bill, but it had me giggling for a lot of yesterday, in bemusement more than anything else. I don't even remember what the news story was, but the BBC breakfast news type programme had somebody in the studio being interviewed about something and he came out with the comment:
'Boys and other categories of children'.
I have mental images of there being many other varying categories of children, but essentially, you know, really there just aren't, just boys and, um, girls, right?!
It's a bit like my mother who made reference whilst we were on holiday last year to:
'Children of children age'
She then got quite cross when none of the rest of us had a clue what on earth she meant by it...
|
|
|
Post by messymimi on Dec 2, 2014 7:48:31 GMT -5
Hooray!!! Happy Snoopy Dance for Dragon being back!!!
"People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." ~ Isaac Asimov
messymimi
|
|
|
Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Dec 2, 2014 9:27:33 GMT -5
The dragoness is back! The dragoness is back! Posting on the quotes thread! Hooray!!!
|
|
|
Post by disorganizeddragon on Dec 3, 2014 0:45:18 GMT -5
lesaulerouge, "boys and other categories of children" fits the humor bill perfectly. I know I laughed when I read it. As you said, there's really only two categories of kids, right? I mean, the last time I checked, there were girls and there were boys and that was pretty much the end of it. Did we miss something? Mimi and Lioness, thank you so much for the wonderful welcome back! It's good to be back on the board and away from machines that beep and people armed with long needles.
|
|
|
Post by disorganizeddragon on Dec 3, 2014 0:52:25 GMT -5
Classified ad: "Buy your new bedroom suite from us and we'll stand behind it for six months."
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."--P.J. O'Rourke
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 350,000 times, you're a weather man."--Unknown
"If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that 'Members Not Present' and 'Subjects Discussed' were one and the same."--Robert Brault
|
|
|
Post by flotsam on Dec 3, 2014 3:17:49 GMT -5
Classified ad: "Buy your new bedroom suite from us and we'll stand behind it for six months."
disorganizeddragon, I'm happy to see you back, too, and I hope you are okay.
|
|
|
Post by messymimi on Dec 3, 2014 8:28:40 GMT -5
"The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage." ~ Mark Russell
messymimi
|
|
yetipants
New Member
Joined: July 2014
Posts: 47
|
Post by yetipants on Dec 3, 2014 8:55:19 GMT -5
I'm sure someone has posted this one before, but here goes:
"He chose to be rich by making his wants few, and supplying them himself." -Ralph Waldo Emerson, referring to Henry Thoreau
|
|
|
Post by survivorofgrief on Dec 3, 2014 9:23:09 GMT -5
When I was in college,the first day of second semester biology, the professor began the lecture by saying,
"The first law of genetics is that if your parents did not have any children, chances are you won't either!"
He had a straight face as he spoke so I was taking notes feverishly until it registered what he had just said. Now, I will never forget that joke!
|
|
|
Post by disorganizeddragon on Dec 4, 2014 0:23:03 GMT -5
flotsam, thank you so much for the kind welcome back. A heart attack can certainly take it out of you, but like any good hoarder, I get ticked off if something gets taken out without my permission, so I'm putting it all back as quickly as possible. yetipants, I don't know if I've ever seen that quote before, here or anywhere else, so for being the first to bring it to the thread. (And even if it is hidden somewhere in these 162 pages, so what? The ribbon stands for sharing it with me. ) survivorofgrief, that little story is too funny. I, like you, would've been writing down everything he said until it finally registered. I had a coworker like your professor once; that man could tell the funniest jokes and lies with the straightest face of anyone on the planet. He should've gone into politics.
|
|