MiSC
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,611
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Post by MiSC on Apr 19, 2010 16:24:16 GMT -5
First a note to Misc -- you did not really buy a tea maker. You bought a dream of losing weight. A fantasy of saving money. An idea that buying this thing was going to make your life a happy-ever-after. Buying stuff with the idea that it will fix your life or improve your relationships with family is something we all do. Target and grocery stores and just about any store you go to makes you buy fantasies with serious marketing to make you add items as you go for the items actually on your list.
And do go throw out a few items from your home that have not lived up to their fantasy promises. Right now please.
I don't see that buying a dream of losing weight and saving money is failing the test you described. It is a wee bit delusional ... but I want my life perfect and buying is so easy. Buying a dream is futile. But it sure is easy. Wow. The wisdom of Sky-Smokey. - Is it just me? Is anyone else shocked out of their shoes when Smokey starts speaking in a language we can mostly understand? And is it even more surprising that she makes SENSE?? Having said that, however: Folks, I hate to break it to you, but after a talk with Mr. MiSC last night, I am now brewing my first pitcher of iced tea with my tea maker. I think it's probably pretty clear by now that this was not a snap decision. I told him that I'd agonized over it for a week, and he seemed oddly surprised. I know he tries really hard to understand my hoarder brain, but sometimes he sees me run up against something very specific and I can see that he's a little taken aback. The long and the short of it is that he said, "If you'll use it, then keep it." And I know I will, so I did.
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Apr 19, 2010 17:37:26 GMT -5
- Regarding Sky-Smokey's wisdom: Above I quoted only excerpts from her original post ... but her entire post was wonderful. Sky-Smokey's FULL post is on page 6 of this thread.Note that she said: Sigh, I know Smokese typing I am again. Sky-Smokey, your "Smokese" is very clear and wise today!
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Post by clutterfree on Apr 19, 2010 20:32:59 GMT -5
I drink iced tea plain, with no sugar. I can't stand it with sugar in it. And when I drink soda, I only drink diet soda. That's a long-time habit. The sugared stuff makes me gag. Granted, plain iced tea isn't for everyone, but I can drink it. If you're trying to wean off sugary drinks, though, and you've said you put a LOT of sugar (emphasis yours) in your iced tea, then you should probably find another drink. Making a pot of iced tea and filling it with sugar isn't much healthier than drinking soda. If you can really cut back on the sugar or use none at all, then you're working toward your goal. Can you try it with just a little lemon or orange juice? Seltzer water with a little lemon or orange juice, just enough to give it a slight flavor, is healthier than anything with ounces of sugar in it. I had an iced-tea maker once and it was fabulously handy. I used it until it cracked. So though some ridicule the entire idea, the actual appliance is fine. Just like a coffee maker; no need to turn on the stove. Also, the DA rejection--pretty unsupportive for a support group, I'd say. I hope that turns out to be a better experience than it has so far! I went to one anonymous group locally twice. It wasn't for debt. Not for me. The group here (and I am speaking about one area) was too cult-like and frowned on people who didn't subscribe to the spiritual parts of their creed. I felt worse after going, which isn't supposed to be how it works. But I know some people get tremendous help from these groups. Hopefully you can find one with a nicer person at the helm! When you go shopping, take a list and barely more money than you need to purchase what's on it--just enough over to make sure you have enough to cover your list. Then you can't overspend--not possible. You'd have to sacrifice something on your list to do, and if you make your list with only things you need, then that's not an option either. You've already made such strides in other areas that I have no doubt you can conquer this too.
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Apr 19, 2010 20:46:40 GMT -5
Also, the DA rejection--pretty unsupportive for a support group, I'd say. I hope that turns out to be a better experience than it has so far! Clutterfree, you must have missed where MiSC clarified what happened. The specific DA group she referred to ... is on an email listserve. MiSC wrote to the moderators, asking why she was rejected. And they wrote her back with an explanation. Their "approval" process is just to prevent trolls and spammers. That's all. All are welcome if they wish to avoid debting. Her name being "MISC" sent to a email listserve, got flagged as being "miscellaneous" ... as a probable spammer ID. They were merely trying to protect the membership from spam. Once she wrote the moderators a personal email, she got approved and welcomed.
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Apr 19, 2010 21:12:13 GMT -5
I went to one anonymous group locally twice. It wasn't for debt. Not for me. The group here (and I am speaking about one area) was too cult-like and frowned on people who didn't subscribe to the spiritual parts of their creed. I felt worse after going, which isn't supposed to be how it works. But I know some people get tremendous help from these groups. I'm sorry that they tried to convert you to their spiritual philosophy. In most 12-step groups, each person is supposed to use their OWN idea of what a "power greater than oneself" is. - For some, it's a religious god (or goddess) of whatever religion they believe in. Each person is free to follow whatever religious precepts he/she feels are appropriate for his/her own conscience.
- Christianity. Judaism. Hinduism. Islam. Buddhism.
Whatever is right for YOU.
[/blockquote][/li][li] For some, it's Nature, the Universe, the Cosmos. [/li][li] For some, it's the collective wisdom of those who have already recovered. [/li][li] Some look to "higher self", "true core being", "better self". [/li][li] Some atheists use "god" as the initials "G.O.D." to signify " Good Orderly Direction".[/li][/ul] It's supposed to be YOUR choice. That's in the principles of most MODERN 12-step groups. I've been in my local area meetings ... when each person in the room believes in a DIFFERENT aspect of the examples I gave above. From traditionally religious to unconventional. And we all get along fine. Nobody imposes their concepts on anyone else. In my local area meetings, when taking turns reading aloud old 12-step literature from the 1930's .... if one person needs to, he/she is allowed substitute "a power greater" for the word "god". The word "inspirational" can be substituted for the word "spiritual". "Meditation" can be religious prayer, and/or it can be reflection on inspirational wisdom. The purpose of "a power greater than oneself" is to realize that your own patterns of thinking got you into the mess, so you need greater wisdom to help pull you out of it. -
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Post by clutterfree on Apr 19, 2010 21:25:17 GMT -5
Clutterfree, you must have missed where MiSC clarified what happened.
No, I didn't. Even once it was straightened out she pointed out how the person was either blunt or rude. I know it's an email list.
And regarding the rest, even if they hadn't been so Christian-oriented, admitting powelessness and giving it over to a higher power was not something I could make sense of for myself, so it just wasn't for me anyway. But that they were so religious was off-putting on a whole new level, not to mention insulting.
But I was talking about one group in my area. I pointed that out.
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Apr 19, 2010 21:34:32 GMT -5
Clutterfree, you must have missed where MiSC clarified what happened.
No, I didn't. Even once it was straightened out she pointed out how the person was either blunt or rude. I know it's an email list.
And regarding the rest, even if they hadn't been so Christian-oriented, admitting powerlessness and giving it over to a higher power was not something I could make sense of for myself, so it just wasn't for me anyway. But that they were so religious was off-putting on a whole new level, not to mention insulting.
But I was talking about one group in my area. I pointed that out. I stand corrected. You make some good points. And I absolutely agree that 12steps are not for everyone. There are many ways to recover from issues. I applaud you for making the choice that was right for YOU. Editing to add:I myself sometimes get all gung-ho about whatever method I'm using. Sometimes 12steps. Sometimes self-help books. Sometimes support groups. Sometimes counseling/mentorship. So ... I've learned that ... whenever I start getting totally insistent that a specific method is the "RIGHT" way to recover ... then I need to take a step back and laugh at myself. -
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Post by Chris on Apr 20, 2010 7:21:06 GMT -5
Misc -- I just wanted to comment about the aspect of buying/spending that sometimes gets to me -- it's a trend I noticed in myself. I notice that because I have abused spending/acquiring in the past I sometimes pick the one time I really should buy something and restrict myself from getting it -- and then I realize that it is a healthy non -compulsive purchase that I would buy if I wasn't so screwed up with money and junk. Am I making sense? So there are times when our past history with stuff and with money shadows over good ideas and reasonable purchases and at times like that --- and this ice tea maker may very well be one of those type things for you -- something you will use and benefit from and not pile up unused or suffer over the cost in the long run.... I am always having to reason things out with myself to see if I am thinking right about an item. And sometimes I see that my choice is/was a good one. I did that once about a warm fleece robe. I really went thru the mill over it after buying it. But I had no warm robe to wear and as it is I had waited til I got this $70 robe for $17 on clearance and it really did turn out to be a purchase I needed and wanted and it's being used every winter. But my past problems with spending and with hoarding really messed up my head about the simple purchase. Now my main guideline is: Pay cash Plan the purchase out ahead of time, and get the best price Use the item or else sell it/donate it in a timely manner I'm still a work in progress but doing better and better each year.
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Post by serenitynow on Apr 21, 2010 9:43:18 GMT -5
I don't think the issue here is whether or not ice tea is better for you than soda. Of course it is. The issue is: Do you need this appliance to make ice tea? The answer to that is No. Succinct and to the point, moggy. The devil's advocate in me, though, says " If it will encourage you to drink tea instead of soda (how I know that dreadful addiction!) and you will use it enough to get your moneys worth out of it, then, since it is a done deal..keep it, USE it and move on!" Ruminating about it and staring at it new in the box is just a distraction and a waste of valuable time and brain power! serenitynow
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Post by serenitynow on Apr 21, 2010 9:46:48 GMT -5
oops.. didn't see that you made the decision! Enjoy!
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MiSC
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1,611
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Post by MiSC on Apr 21, 2010 15:30:22 GMT -5
oops.. didn't see that you made the decision! Enjoy! Yup. I'm on my second pitcher in a couple of days. I made it waaaay too sweet the first time, and a little too weak. I upped the teabags and lowered the sugar on this one, and it's better.
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