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Post by margaret56 on Oct 5, 2008 19:12:47 GMT -5
Well....it's easier to buy something than to DO something.
However, I don't necessarily think it's got to be depressing truth.
Try looking through the things you've purchased for the life you're not leading.
Pick out the ones that really call to you.
Then use them to motivate yourself to actually DO the thing you desired to have in your life when you bought them.
Put on the earrings and decide what lovely restaurant you're going to wear them to and DO IT.
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Post by timetochange on Nov 10, 2008 1:03:34 GMT -5
Yes.
I lead a seperate life inside my head of how it all "should" have been.
This week I getting rid of a bunch of that "baggage" literally.
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papertyger
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Post by papertyger on Nov 10, 2008 13:58:50 GMT -5
I have EVERYTHING you can purchase for camping, down to the portaloo and toilet tent. Ive been camping TWICE and not even half of this stuff would fit in my car even if I do ever go again ..... so yeah I hear you sister  |
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Post by zinnia on Nov 10, 2008 18:18:24 GMT -5
Have not ever used the fine china. Get it out and use it for YOU.  |
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Post by limegreen on Nov 11, 2008 21:07:56 GMT -5
I have EVERYTHING you can purchase for camping, down to the portaloo and toilet tent. Ive been camping TWICE and not even half of this stuff would fit in my car even if I do ever go again ..... so yeah I hear you sister That reminds me, I totaly must gather up all our camping stuff and take it to my brother's house. Neither of us likes camping DD and her chums had to be rescued from flash floods by the Fire Brigade when she did her Duke of Edinburgh award, so there's no way she's going camping anytime soon whereas my brother and his kids love the outdoors, they can pick over our stuff and donate what they can't use. And if we are ever foolish enough to wish to try camping again, I'm sure he'd lend us what we need. |
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someday
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Joined: October 2008
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Post by someday on Nov 12, 2008 16:39:56 GMT -5
This was really a beautifully written post, Snailspace. I hope you don't mind, but I actually printed it out and hung it on my refrigerator for my DH to read. It really resonated with him, and he has decided to finally put away some of those old projects that were taking up space in our dining room. We've also taken the plunge and ripped out the pee-soaked carpet that I mentioned in an earlier post. Our house is a long way from being what we want it to be, but it is much closer than it was, and a lot of it had to do with this thread. I'm realizing that in order to have the life I imagine, I need to make room for it to happen.
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Post by pearblossom on Nov 13, 2008 11:04:54 GMT -5
I've only read your original post and the first few replies... but holy crap. You are so dead on. I think I have subconsciously come to this realization, but you have really spelled it out.
I've thrown a lot of stuff out on the premise of "it's never going to happen", but I HAVE held on to a few things that I simply can't let go of. Like a pp, I always wanted to live on a farm and now I have a half-acre in suburbia with 8 laying hens in a coop behind my garage and we grow a lot of our own food. I still have the sheep book because I still dream of more land and waking up to that "bahhhh". But I feel like it's okay to hold on to because my husband shares that goal and we actively work on achieving it. So I'm making conscious decisions about what to keep that's "false reality".
But yeah... I did a LOT of what you're talking about. I don't think I've ever thought about why I bought this stuff (not deeply, anyway) until reading your post.
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Post by snailspace on Feb 12, 2009 11:15:54 GMT -5
I have purchased twelve pairs of earrings in the last four months and I don't have pierced ears. Just wanted to say that as of yesterday, I have pierced ears!  When I cleaned up my bedroom a couple months ago, in which I tried to simplify as much as possible, I looked around and saw one of the few 'decor' items that were still left was that row of earrings hanging along the back edge of the bookcase. This helped me realize this really was important to me, almost as if a spotlight was shining on them, and after much procrastinating, I finally took the step necessary to make them more than bookcase decorations. Won't be able to wear the fancy earrings for a couple months yet, but I recognize the fact that time will pass, and those months will go by, and someday I really will hopefully be sitting in that restaurant after all with tulips dangling from my ears. |
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Post by AnnieOkie on Feb 12, 2009 12:14:09 GMT -5
Look at you!! You go girl!! |
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outofchaos
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Joined: December 2008
Posts: 65
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Post by outofchaos on Feb 12, 2009 13:15:15 GMT -5
Boy, did this post ring a bell for me!
Like others, I was a big yarn purchaser. I also liked buying fabric, even though I don't know how to sew. I feel like I should put that in bold! Talk about doing things backwards!
I feel like I've done a good job at combatting that - I only shop with a list now, and I don't bring home anything that I don't need. I even made a promise to myself that I won't buy any new clothes without getting rid of an equal number of clothes first.
I've had those little fantasies, about how if I buy this necklace to go with this top, I will look so put together and professional. But I need to be honest with myself: I don't wear jewelry, even if I would look more professional. It drives me crazy when I have it on, so I have to take it off within a couple of hours.
I wonder why we are like this - are we used to putting our own desires on hold, and have forgotten that we do have the authority over ourselves to go out to dinner, even if we aren't wearing pretty earrings?
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Post by autumn on Feb 12, 2009 14:31:53 GMT -5
Pickles! You made me laugh with Ferdinand the bull! That was one of the books that we all wanted when we cleaned out my parents house...Maybe it is genetic!! |
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Post by annieblue on Feb 12, 2009 21:44:47 GMT -5
This is such a wonderful topic & conversation. I have done this for a loooooong time, but NO MORE. My life TODAY, my REAL life, is all I will cater to, as it is plenty enough to manage, . Thank you, Snailspace for starting this thread, & thank you to all who contributed. Lots to think about here!  |
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Post by fluffychild on Feb 12, 2009 22:33:35 GMT -5
I did go through my grandmother's material - she was addicted to fabric but seldom sewed. I got rid of 17 boxes of it from the attic - all of it went to a church group that makes 200 quilts in a year. I also have a lot of yarn - I have made a vow to myself that I will make 1 pair of mittens per week - I have enough yarn on hand - enough different colors that I have variety all the time. My group that does the quilting has told me that if I crochet them, they will sew them up. I don't like the sewing part of it. I try to only bring into the house consumerable things like food, cat litter, heavy duty garbage bags or things that I really need that are small in size. As for jewelry - mine is on 24 hours a day - always wear a gold necklace with a cross and a gold colored chain with keys on a keyring. Then when I go to work, I wear the key lanyard to get in at work and another set of house keys. I never change the pierced earrings. I have also simplified what to wear to work - all pants are black, except for one pair of brown and one pair of biege. I am very happy with that decision - I never have to think what am I going to wear - everything goes with black.
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Post by creativechaos on Feb 13, 2009 2:46:01 GMT -5
snailspace;
thahnk you so much for starting this thread. how could i ever have missed this? (and thanks for getting it back active, blue and fluffy). for a period of about 3 months i dropped off the map and so missed many great threads. this thread is one of the most important ones i have read.
for me, the hoarding and saving is all about the dream, or of holding on to dreams from the past or past lives i had and lost or outgrew. i have wanted a big art studio all my adult life, and have been saving for that "someday" place where i could create multimedia pieces. i never got the studio. i don't think it would have mattered if i had. fear and perfectionism would have interfered in a big place, as they do now. it's really not about the stuff. it's about how do i want to live my life right now? how can i build my small dream step by step so i am doing it right now while i am still building it, yet being able to be content if this is all there ever is? too much stuff will never help me with that.
the responses here (jeremyfrith's, pickles's, and others) help me realize that dreams can be realized in the doing of them in small consistent bits. like pickles digging that duck pond 2 minutes a day until done, and having that enjoyment of watching them as her reward every day. that is success! friends and people we love being in our lives, that is success.
the dreams don't have to die; we just need to make room to live them within our means right now. i'm so very very glad to read this thread.
and snailspace, congratulations that you got your ears pierced and gave yourself the pretties you wanted and deserve! YEAAA!
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Post by marigold on Feb 13, 2009 3:43:56 GMT -5
This is a great thread. To this day I still have my norvegian text books, because in case I want to remind myself of the grammar and words, I'll have it ready. I haven't touched them for the past 15 years! With my steady job, and a couple of kids at home, and not extravagant salary - do I see a possible month of vacation in Norway any time soon? I guess not. Besides, everybody speaks english there. See? Things we hold on to... this makes me want to change something. Hooray for your pearced ears, snail! Time to live life and enjoy your earrings! Today I dressed my almost-two-year-old daughter into her fancy dress, although we don't celebrate anything special. But if we wait for a special day, she will outgrow the dress. So, better celebrate the Everyday of our lives |
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