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Post by Butterfly on Jan 22, 2010 22:47:56 GMT -5
I know I've posted too much already, but I want to say how much this thread resonates for me. I, too, have piles of craft supplies, fabric, quilting tools, beads, scrapbooking, yarn, etc.
But, my big issue is with Christmas decorations, primarily ornaments. I've come to understand that I'm buying these out of grief over the loss of the only person who nurtured me as a child and my desire to have a family with which to share Christmas. Unfortunately, as my psychiatrist tells me when I express my frustration and anger at myself over understanding WHY but still not being able to control it, knowing the reason does not fill the hole in my soul.
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Post by gifted on Jan 23, 2010 1:15:35 GMT -5
Yep,
I can get pulled in so many different directions, and I love each of then, but then I see another star twinkling off in the distance, and abandon whatever I am currently working on.
And my mother always denied me things based on her twisted logic that she KNEW I would quit them. She even told me that she would not allow me to attend the public college prep high school rather than the local high school, because she KNEW I was too *** to take the bus to school. It was a really big deal, because that was the first year girls were allowed into that school. But of her seven children, I am the only college graduate. Neither of the boys, who attended private high schools graduated college.
The B.S. took me about twenty years, and I had credits from seven different institutions before I graduated. But I think that only proves my tenacity, even if it is in a sporadic fashion.
But now I am 51, and very overweight. And I have an attic filled with rock climbing, caving and SCUBA gear. Musical instruments, craft supplies. and the appropriate how to books. especially sailing books.
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Post by Butterfly on Jan 23, 2010 1:33:24 GMT -5
...The B.S. took me about twenty years, and I had credits from seven different institutions before I graduated. But I think that only proves my tenacity, even if it is in a sporadic fashion... That's a very inspiring success story! Congratulations! |
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Post by TML on Jan 23, 2010 11:39:22 GMT -5
Mine is sort of the opposite. My junk and weight keeps me from leading the cool life I could have. This may sound really odd but I could have a life that would make the even great lives you see on tv pale in comparison. In a way I am scared. Maybe I am wrong about the ability to have a really cool life. I don't think so but the clutter keeps me from having to even think about it. I made a promise to myself that I would live the life inside that I want and I have been trying to stick to it. It is slow and hard. I have signed up for two races this year (one a half marathon) in really cool places as incentive to get it together. I am going to start traveling for fun again. For me the clutter kills my dream and is not a part of it. Hi All, I think I just had a break through!!! For me it seems my weight and the clutter are both protective barriers keeping me from having to deal with the life I could have (and say I want). The inner me wants to be the person I can be and live the life I can have but another part of me is scared to death that it will not be what I think it can be or that I will get hurt. So as long as I am heavy and have the clutter I have excuses. I think I am going to have to figure out this inner conflict before I can solve these issues. I just need to let go of the fear and step into my new life even with the clutter and weight. I recall some old saying you can live it then be it. I think this will take some more thought and taking baby steps into the new life.... Hopefully it will help me break through the vicious cycle of always cleaning and dieting but never really getting anywhere. |
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Post by howardsgirlfriend on Jan 23, 2010 14:38:23 GMT -5
Do consider this more benign point of view, that helped me tremendously:
While desqualoring may not automatically lead to the cool life you desire, it WILL give you the potential to have it.
I have always had difficulty making friends. Always wanted to be one of those people who had friends socializing at her home--coffee and conversation, not huge parties--just little groups. A couple of times, I left my boyfriends, and restarted my life, which always involved leaving many possessions behind. I'd believe that now that my place was neater, I could invite friends over. When that plan didn't come to fruition, I felt like a failure. As the squalor accumulated, it reinforced this "core belief."
Only recently did I have this epiphany about the desqualoring giving me the POTENTIAL to have people over. That potential is such a powerful motivator, and comforts me when I feel lonely.
Desqualoring will give you the "potential for coolness."
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Post by TML on Jan 23, 2010 18:55:44 GMT -5
Do consider this more benign point of view, that helped me tremendously: While desqualoring may not automatically lead to the cool life you desire, it WILL give you the potential to have it. I have always had difficulty making friends. Always wanted to be one of those people who had friends socializing at her home--coffee and conversation, not huge parties--just little groups. A couple of times, I left my boyfriends, and restarted my life, which always involved leaving many possessions behind. I'd believe that now that my place was neater, I could invite friends over. When that plan didn't come to fruition, I felt like a failure. As the squalor accumulated, it reinforced this "core belief." Only recently did I have this epiphany about the desqualoring giving me the POTENTIAL to have people over. That potential is such a powerful motivator, and comforts me when I feel lonely. Desqualoring will give you the "potential for coolness." That is a really good way of thinking about it. Thanks that really helps. |
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purple57
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Posts: 74
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Post by purple57 on Jan 24, 2010 13:18:44 GMT -5
Simplegifts posted: "I can get pulled in so many different directions, and I love each of them, but then I see another star twinkling off in the distance, and abandon whatever I am currently working on." I know I'm one. Too many interests, not hardly enough time. To me that sounds like you're a SCANNER. Go to this website and read some Barbara Sher... www.getmotivation.com/articlelib/articles/barbara_sher_scanner.html |
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Post by kiddledo on Jan 25, 2010 10:57:51 GMT -5
I just love this thread!!! You all encourage me to look at what I have, is it for my life now or for another life I'll live "someday"
I used the quote about "somebody else's" clothes handing in my closet because I sure wasn't using them while talking with my MIL...the orginal Mrs. Clean....the orginal Ultra Mrs. Clean.
Believe it or not, she got it! Who would have thought we would have something in common?
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Post by itsjustme on Oct 19, 2010 8:27:19 GMT -5
thanks so much for bumping this because I would have missed it. So much of it rings true with me. I am currently making one of my dreams come true, my floor. But oh when i get into the craft room ...... I really need to decide which ONE craft/hobby I want to do. Pretty sure I already know but it's going to be hard to prune down. I did just 2 weeks ago get rid of the most fabulous piece of material ever made. It was 37 years old. And I let it go to waste  |
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messymaam
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Joined: October 2010
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Post by messymaam on Oct 19, 2010 9:25:42 GMT -5
Oh my god.
I just read the first page and a half. I can't process this all right now. This hits so close to home that I don't know if I need to set aside some time to sit down here and read this all carefully and then really think about it or if I should run and never come back to this thread. You've all knocked me out. I'm in tears and I know exactly what you are talking about.
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Oct 25, 2011 7:21:56 GMT -5
This thread was started three years ago.
Timeless wisdom.
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Post by angela on Oct 25, 2011 12:28:47 GMT -5
Timeless wisdom, yes! It's Just Me, please look up "Refuse To Choose" it will help you understand that NO you don't have to choose just one craft, but you may have to make choices about how to physically manage all the crafts you want to play with.
And one of the keys to making good choices is to start NOW. You will very quickly discover which materials you enjoy, which techniques, etc.
5 minutes of sketching will help you see what you like. 5 minutes of hand sewing will give you such a charge! Play with it all.
Crafts inform one another. Painting teaches you about shape and color that you can then use in fabric crafts. Knitting helps you understand pattern and fiber which can help inform your weaving or spinning. Etc. I really believe this.
Now I'll grant that some crafts almost require a pretty extensive tool set, wood turning for example. Or silversmithing. But honestly even these can be practiced on a smaller scale.
Anyway, I can relate to this whole thread, especially the craft supplies and I'm saying what's worked for me.
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Post by Freedom on Oct 25, 2011 13:24:29 GMT -5
Again, thank you for the bump.
I'm in tears. Yes, I've bought so many of these things too. Clothes for the me I never was, china for the home/family I never made, art supplies ...
Beautiful, insightful thread and posts.
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Post by ClutterBlind on Oct 25, 2011 15:04:59 GMT -5
I think out of ALL the threads at SOS, this one resonates and represents me, and affects me the most. I grew up in abuse and violence. Since a young age, I dreamed about getting out of there and creating a different life. That FUTURE life was what kept me going, helped me survive.
I am finally out of the abuse. But, this thread made me realize, I am STILL dreaming of a fantasy life, very different than the one I actually live. In fact, I attended a lot of self-help seminars. Their whole seduction is based on being able to live a big, splashy life afterward. Yes, my life is better. But, certainly not at the level of the seminar leaders. Even their assistants and employees, who know those techniques the most, don't live that level of a life.
Yes, I have bought things for that other life. Those are the ones that are the hardest to get rid of. That potential of someday being able to use them.
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Post by ramatama on Apr 10, 2012 10:50:45 GMT -5
this thread =  and that is why I am bumping it for all other newcomers. I have, after reading the previous pages, decided to go "retail shopping" in my own stacked boxes of "supplies for crafts" and commit to not acquire anything else until I have used up the contents of at least 3 boxes.  Moreover, if I have not used anything out a box by the middle of 2015, when my DH retires, the material will be donated to a kindergarten nearby. Ok, now it is in writing.  |
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