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Post by maryaz on Apr 28, 2019 16:10:17 GMT -5
Hi
I am so glad I found you. I have suffered from procrastination, depression and CHAOS pretty much my whole life. Years ago I found the Slob Sisters, their book and system really helped me for a long time. Then life changes, a move, ect and I was back down the hole. Discovered FlyLady and totally loved the forums at Blog Talk Radio. When those forums no longer worked and I didn't have anyone to check in with or chat with I slowly fell apart. Fast forward to 2015, I was working on things again. I was beginning to get a handle on finances, paperwork, housekeeping and more. My mom fell and hit her head and could no longer live alone so I quit working and moved in with her. I came to my house everyday to water the gardens and do some outside things (I have a lot of chickens and a small market garden and sell at a small farmers market), but never really did anything in the house. After a slow decline and severe dementia my mother passed in Jan of this year. Really, it was a relief. Towards the end she was in constant pain and didn't know anyone at all.
Soooo I was doing 16 hour days trying to finish emptying the house so I could get it sold and get out from under the associated bills like insurance and utilities and get started settling the estate. The house sold to my nephew so I was able to relax about the stuff that belonged to me (chain link chicken pens and chickens and such) that was outside. Some of it is still there, but hopefully I'll be able to finish getting it moved soon.
Which brings me here. During the past few months, under such deadlines and pressure my house became a dumping ground. I have papers and photos and home movies and such from moms that I have to go through. Still working through everything I need to do to settle the estate, which may take the whole year.
My whole house is a train wreck, from being empty almost 4 years the rats and mice moved in. While most of the kitchen has been wiped down at least once, there are still some drawers with rat poop in them and I'm still trapping mice almost every night. There is barely a trail through the house. I had been working on doing things a couple of 15 minute sessions at a time. However 2 days ago I spent 2 hours on my desk and didn't find the top of it. I realized that my house was really depressing me and that I needed a support group. And that is how I found you ;-)
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Post by larataylor on Apr 28, 2019 19:04:08 GMT -5
We're here for you! That's an awful mess you're facing! We have different ways of supporting each other. You can keep a blog and track your progress, make lists if that works for you, or get on a work thread where we cheer each other on a few tasks at a time.
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Post by Minerva on Apr 28, 2019 19:54:06 GMT -5
Welcome to the forum, maryaz. It sounds like you have had a lot to deal with in recent years, so it is unsurprising that your house got into a mess. Being here is a great step in the right direction though. No matter how bad things seem, someone else here will have dealt with a similar situation. Early in my journey, I had to cut apart the bottom of my settee as it was infested with maggots. I never got anything other than acceptance and support here. I've had plenty of sliding back and am currently a fair way off maintenance with plenty of continuing bad habits, but things have never gone back to being as bad as they were when I first came here and I hope that with ongoing support, my overall trend will continue in the right direction. You aren't alone in this and you have come to the right place. |
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Post by Unswamping on Apr 28, 2019 23:43:50 GMT -5
Welcome maryaz. You've had a very rough few years, taking care of your mom and sadly, her passing. Now trying to deal with her estate and your own house that has been neglected for four years. Its alot! This isnt something that is usually suggested here but is outside storage a possibility? A storage pod in your yard or at a storage facility? The reason im suggesting this is the problem with rats and mice. It would be easier to deal with that if you didnt have all those potential nesting areas inside. It would also make it easier to find out how they are getting in. Blocking their access in is important.
Are you in an area where hantavirus is an issue? Make sure you wear rubber gloves and a face mask while cleaning.
It is really depressing to have a house in disarray. We can be supportive. Start a blog, post on a working thread.
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Post by maryaz on Apr 29, 2019 23:13:19 GMT -5
Thank you everyone! I knew this looked like a good place to be! Wow, maggots in the settee. I have had plenty of maggies, but not in the couch (that I know of anyway!)
Part of the issue is no secure weather proof outside storage and no where to put one right now. No budget for off site rental at the moment either. Hantavirus and the plague not generally issues where I am at.
Some of the issue is the house is an old miner's shack, built on the ground with no foundation. And we have a great variety of rodents: ground squirrels, tree squirrels, chipmunks, kangaroo rats, pack rats, wood rats, roof rats, house mice and pocket mice. I've had the rats and squirrels chew holes through 2" solid oak doors. Now that I have a couple of cats they do help keep the numbers down, but they won't go after the squirrels which are just as destructive or more so than the rats.
I started a blog at blogspot years ago and have posted off and on, this week have been posting my to do list and pictures, that has also helped motivate me. (wasn't positive about linking to it here on the boards)
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Post by Unswamping on Apr 29, 2019 23:24:01 GMT -5
maryaz i understand the budget contraints. Wow what an assortment of critters! Yes squirrels are very destructive. Im not sure what will deter them. Ive filled holes with steel wool to keep mice from coming in. Bigger rodents like rats and squirrels would probably chew around it.
Photos are good, they can help chart our progress and help see blindspits where we just dont see the clutter. Its up to you what your confort level is. Ive posted photos in past, not everyone feels comfortable doing that and thats ok. If its technical help on how to, a post in the technical help section would help you. You can start a blog here too if you like or work on the working threads.
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Post by joyinvirginia on Apr 30, 2019 6:12:40 GMT -5
Welcome! the admins can move this thread to the members only blog section of you request it. Best wishes as you get things together.
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Post by maryaz on Apr 30, 2019 8:14:34 GMT -5
Well on the plus side of things:
Bathroom is relatively tidy and functional
Kitchen has a ways to go but is partly functional
After about 6 hours I've found the top of my desk, it's a corner desk with cubbies on each side and those still need sorted out but I can work on the desktop now.
I've cleared out a few boxes of stuff from other parts of the house.
When I'm feeling too tired and unmotivated to tackle any new stuff I've been trying to concentrate on at least keeping the progress I've gained.
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Post by larataylor on Apr 30, 2019 8:17:11 GMT -5
I've dealt with squirrels, but don't have any great advice. Other people here have dealt with squirrels, too, and might have some good suggestions.
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Post by def6 on Apr 30, 2019 8:25:04 GMT -5
Hello maryazYou have been a real trooper, even in the midst of extreme upheaval in your life. You may be reaching a "saturation point" with cleaning, decluttering and organizing. The mice situation can wear on your nerves after a period of time also. We have a clever trick on this board called "Amnesty." It might look like calling a pest control service to handle your mice problem when you would normally handle it yourself. Or doing something (such as clearing your desk surface) imperfectly or in an unconventional manner...like: arm swiping desk pile into a big box, or just working on the pile 15 minutes a day then stopping. Amnesty is a wonderful thing! |
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Post by maryaz on Apr 30, 2019 12:42:45 GMT -5
Thanks def6 I haven't caught any new mice the last few nights so maybe this batch is gone. Amnesty sounds good.  on arm sweeping the desk into a box. There are at least 2 boxes with the remains of that move floating around here from the past. I really don't feel like a perfectionist, I really feel like a "good enough" sort. You know, OK, it's not perfect, but it's good enough. Getting a bit of clean space has helped me clear my mind and is motivating me to get more done. Just trying to not get tooo overboard and get burnt out. So like this morning I spent the time cleaning a coop and making compost, both necessary things to get done and actually a lot more enjoyable to me than cleaning house! |
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Post by Minerva on Apr 30, 2019 17:08:08 GMT -5
My main amnesty is throwing things away when the house is bad rather than worrying too much about recycling things that I would need to spend a lot of time cleaning first. Yes, it's rubbish for the environment that I'm throwing glass and plastic bottles in the bin instead of washing them, removing the labels and recycling them, and it's not ideal that paper/card things with plastic windows (like food boxes or envelopes) get thrown out, but if I don't give myself amnesty on those things then I just end up with bags or piles of dirty bottles that will just become a more and more intimidating task (and will therefore never get done).
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Post by maryaz on Apr 30, 2019 21:12:51 GMT -5
Thanks Minerva; I too am concerned for the environment and recycle everything I can, usually at home in some way. But I too have been known to toss it if it is too dusty/dirty to justify using up my limited amount of time and energy cleaning it up.
Soooo since I seem to be on a paperwork mission I just cleaned out the door pocket in the van where I tend to stash receipts ..... Have a shoe box full to work on
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Post by Unswamping on Apr 30, 2019 22:46:26 GMT -5
maryaz great job on getting your desk. Yes having a little clear space does help the mind. Im glad you are willing to do "good enough", perfectionism can be a trip many of us fall into. Im glad youve been practicing amnesty, even if you didnt know it had a name. I care about the environment too and am generally very good about recycling. Sometimes though, i do just need to toss stuff if it helps me move ahead. You are off to a great start. As a newbie, dont be surprised if you start avoiding the cleanup or the forum. Thats common. Just come back and start again.
As joyinvirgina said, you can have this moved to the members only blog section or you can start a new blog there.
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Post by maryaz on May 1, 2019 14:37:22 GMT -5
Thank Unswamping From past experience what I've had happen is things are rolling along pretty good and things are starting to come together then either something happens and I don't have time to take care of things or I get like "well it's clean enough, I don't think I need to wipe it down today" and of course that is enough to fall back down the hole! |
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