outofhope
New Member
Joined: June 2008
Posts: 3
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Post by outofhope on Jun 8, 2008 21:59:41 GMT -5
What do you do? I've been trying for over a year now to clean up my apartment, and it only gets worse. My bed is in the living room, the bedroom can't even be walked in, there is the Room Of Dog Poo, and I've just had to turn off the water because there's apparently a leak inside the wall that I can't get to and it's flooding the kitchen. I live in the south, where the temps are in the 90's, the air conditioning has been broken for months, and now I have no shower. I even tried biting the bullet and calling a plumber, and was told that they can't go into a building that I don't own, and that I should call my landlord. Who would, of course, evict me on the spot.
I'm in such bad physical shape that just the effort of walking usually leaves me in tears, much less trying to clean. I can't afford to move, and I'm at the end of my rope. I can't see any way out of this, and honestly, I'm at the point of counting all my pain pills to see if I just have enough to just put an end to everything.
Does anybody have any suggestions that could offer me some hope? Because I seem to be completely out of it.
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Post by shabbychic on Jun 8, 2008 22:31:36 GMT -5
((Outofhope)) I see you're offline right now, I just got on. Must not be anybody else here right now because usually these kinds of cries for help get responses right away. Other people have been in similar situations, I was in one maybe 10 years ago and this community didn't exist. I live in the South too, a/c is not a luxury here. I don't know your situation, whether the medical situation and pain is temporary or chronic, but if you can't walk you can't clean too well. There are resources out there and probably other members will give you lots of good advice and encouragement so hang in there. I remember reading I think it was Fivecat's story (I may have the wrong name) about not being able to get around and beginning with cleaning the area around the chair where she spent her time. Even one little clean area can make you feel better, because you accomplished something and you have a little oasis of clean. If you are physically unable to clean perhaps there are people around who can help you. Coming here is a start. Hope tomorrow is better (and cooler).
Shabby Chic
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Post by bluefrog on Jun 8, 2008 22:37:48 GMT -5
Wow, outofhope, that's a bad spot to be in--but not completely hopeless. What sort of physical problems do you have? I have had one knee replacement and badly need another, and find that some days, I need a rolling stool to get around my house. From there, I can pick up stuff from the floor using a reaching tool, load the dishwasher, and cook. I've watched (and been inspired) when my son-in-law did laundry and vacuuming from his wheelchair.
Is there trash that you can reach or things you can clean while sitting down? Even if you can't work for as much as five minutes at a time, every little bit cleaned counts. Come on over to Listzilla and check out Working In Threes. It's only a bit at a time, but the technique really works!
Do you have friends you'd trust to help, or money to hire someone to clean for you, so your landlord can get your utilities fixed? There might be church groups or health-related organizations that could help.
What have you tried that didn't work? There are people who have dealt with all kinds of squalor who can offer specific advice.
Don't give up! You've come to the right place. There's great advice and support here.
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Jun 8, 2008 22:45:29 GMT -5
- Welcome! You've come to the right place! First of all, here's a big hug for you  Know that many have us have been right where you are, and have recovered. I'm going to rename you "RecoveringJoy". hugs, Lioness - |
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Post by moggyfan on Jun 8, 2008 22:48:55 GMT -5
Oh, dear outofhope, there **is** hope. Put the pills away, and let's talk. Lots of us here have been as desperate as you sound tonight, and have found solutions, even after a lot of false starts. I know many people will share their ideas with you. I think you need to NOT think of the Big Picture right now; let's focus on a couple of things to start. It sounds to me that what you need most is your water situation fixed ASAP. Can you use the water at all in the apartment? Or is it just the shower that's causing trouble? If you can't use it at all, then it really is an emergency. If you just can't use the shower, then you have a bit more breathing room. If you have NO water, I think this is what I'd do: The dog poop seems the thing you have to get cleaned up right away (before calling the landlord about a plumber). Do you have a shovel (or similar--even a sizable spatula)? I'd get some plastic bags and scoop--if most of it is dried out, it probably won't be as bad as you fear. Once that's done, I'd spray some "pet smell" stuff (I don't know the brand names, but lots of people here will) and let it sit for awhile (few hours?) and then mop the floor. Don't worry if it's not perfect. Look around: Ignore paper/clothing/stuff mess--is there anything except the dog poop that's smelly or rotten or potentially doing damage to the landlord's property? If not, I think I'd make the call. (For one thing, the landlord might not even come with the plumber.) Is there anyone you trust **absolutely** that could help you? Friend or family member? Is the doggy pooping indoors because you are not feeling well enough to take him for a walk? If so, could someone help you with that? Please keep posting--we'll cheer you on! |
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Jun 8, 2008 22:50:01 GMT -5
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Post by onwardandupward on Jun 8, 2008 23:04:15 GMT -5
hope, Here's a hug from someone who cares about you. I have experienced the feeling that there wasn't any way for things to improve. I was wrong. For me Kimmy's story at Squalor Survivors helped. There are lots of wonderful folks here who have been in dire situations like yours and have taken baby steps to make changes in their lives. Don't give up. There is hope. Onward |
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Post by Moodle on Jun 9, 2008 4:14:32 GMT -5
((((OutOfHope)))) Welcome to SOS!!  I love the name Lioness gave you!! For now, I will call you by your 'initials', OOH, as in, "ooh, NOW I get it!!" since coming to SOS!  And here is what you GET: Moggyfan is right...get a shovel or a spatula and get the dog poop up. It's nasty, I know, but start there. Put it in a box, if you have a shovel....easier to manage than a bag...and then you can dump it and refill. Do this a little at a time so that it is not too overwhelming. (Don't ask me how I know this.  ) You have gotten such GREAT advice from everyone and I love O&U and KKL's comments; Lioness, bluefrog, and shabbychic are hanging in there with you! We definitely need dear, dear friend Fivecat to join in this thread!! When Fivecat was out of water one of the things that she did was go elsewhere to bathe. I think that she went to a truck stop that charged $3 for a shower. Also, other sibs have joined a gym or gone to the YMCA/YWCA or even to the public pools (reduced pass rates for summer) and used the showers. Sponging off using a jug of water is good for a very short while in between, but nothing beats a proper shower. As Pigpen has been known to say, "you can see the lights of the train" and that is scary....calls for a HUGE reality check! By that phrase she meant TIME FOR ACTION TAKING!!" Set the timer on the microwave or the alarm clock and get started in whatever time intervals work for you....3, 5, 10, 12.5, 15 minutes of work and then rest that same time period and then work some more, rest, work....you get the idea! You can do this...you may not feel like it and you may not want to, but you CAN do this! Look at Rennie Ellen....she is so sick so much of the time, but she did it and so can YOU!!! We believe in you, OOH!!! We KNOW whereof we speak, new friend!! We totally understand where you are coming from and the fear, guilt, dread, humiliation, frustration, anger, mistrust, confusion, and shame that you are experiencing right this very minute. But offing yourself is certainly NOT the answer. Do not leave this for others to deal with....you are NOT a coward....you are just completely overwhelmed right now and you deserve soooo much better living conditions!!! You may have gotten yourself into this mess (with some help from your doggie), but you can get yourself out, sweetie, because now we are here to guide, advise, help, suggest, give a gentle nudge, help you devise a plan, and cheer, cheer, cheer you on!!! Just ask Lioness!!!!! I live in Texas and can not afford to have the A/C fixed...we have already hit 98 deg with 87% humidity. I use several fans....you can do this, too. I don't LIKE it, but that is the best I can do for now. I like to clean late at night or early in the morning. I go to work during the day, but if I didn't, I would sleep during the heat of the day with two fans blowing right on me and work on my house at night. We are all in various states of squalor/desqualor here at SOS.....and so are you; you fit right in!!! You can do this....and so can we....and we can all help each other. Now, what's your plan??? We are here, ready, willing, and eager to walk this journey that we are all in together with you. Take that first step...pick up three pieces of paper, put them in a trash bag, and come back and tell us about it! |
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Post by reesa on Jun 9, 2008 5:49:11 GMT -5
get yourself a rag and wet it. wave it around in the air til it gets cool and put it on your forehead. now you can think about starting to clean Are there any social services there that can help you clean? Local church groups? I know it's hard to have people in your house but maybe you could get some help with the dogpoop room? (I had one of those for a while...and a dog pee living room...if you find my thread it has pictures of my carpet in it...it was pretty bad) But if you just do a tiny bit at a time. Let us know how you are doing too, we're all thinking of you and sending you hugs |
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Post by reesa on Jun 9, 2008 5:50:31 GMT -5
and I know this sounds awful, but I have done it before...if it's SO bad that you can not see ANY way out but harming yourself, just move. Move out. I know that's not the best solution but you have to keep your own survival in mind first, just a thought.
I have been in the exact same place, so don't feel alone.
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Post by roseoftexas on Jun 9, 2008 7:04:28 GMT -5
Dear OOH,
I've been there - sleeping on a bare mattress and boxsprings in the middle of my living room for months - the other rooms in my apartment too cluttered to walk in and my one cat at the time (Kitty) peeing and/or vomiting in the mess. I was very, very depressed.
For the pet mess, I've found Woolite Pet Stain & Odor Remover to be useful. A quick Google search pulled up this epinions review: www.epinions.com/content_172730125956 When using it, it's best to be conservative when spraying it - a little bit goes a long way. I didn't particularly care for the smell either, but they have improved it a bit in the past year and the smell usually fades within a day or two anyway.
Other members here have also found Nature's Miracle to be a great product for pet stains and odors. I have yet to try it, but I know some people absolutely swear by it. www.naturemakesitwork.com/home/index.php
The Working in Threes thread on the Listzilla forum is a great place to start when you feel frozen. You just do 3 things, and come post them. That's it. It can be as simple as picking up a piece of trash or drinking a glass of water. Just 3 things. Here's a link to today's thread: takeonestepatatime.proboards80.com/index.cgi?board=action&action=display&thread=439 If for some reason you miss out on participating in today's thread, there will be another one tomorrow and the next day and so on...
There's help, and even though it doesn't seem like it right now, there is also hope. You've taken the first step out of squalor by reaching out for help here at SOS.
Welcome!
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Post by pegasus48 on Jun 9, 2008 9:44:53 GMT -5
Dear OOH, You can do it! We need you here with us because there is strength, courage, and wisdom in numbers. So many of us have been in the place you are now, and there is hope!! Here is a hug to get you started. I agree, start with the dog poop. Sit in a chair and use a shovel or something like that to pick up the poop. Once the area around the chair is clear, move the chair, sit back down and scoop up some more. If you have to work for five and rest for ten, so be it. Once the poop is gone, call the landlord about the water. After you overcome these two problems, things will get much easier. And, remember, we're here to cheer you on!!  |
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Post by metamorpha on Jun 9, 2008 12:31:33 GMT -5
You might want to post at Freecycle or Craigslist to see if someone has a cheap/free AC unit to use for the mean time. I know the heat really gets me down. Changing the temp might help your motivation
I don't know if you own a shovel. I didn't when I lived in an apartment, but I found a large dustpan meant for yardwork at the hardware store and it works very well for cleaning up things like poo, and just general trash.
I know you can do this, and once it's done, you will be so glad that you tried. Your landlord should not have to look in every room of your apartment either to fix the water and the AC, so I wouldn't worry right now about cleaning up every little thing. Good luck!
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Post by puppybox on Jun 9, 2008 13:10:57 GMT -5
Dear Recovering Joy,
I am so sorry you are in this situation. Whatever you have done/
not done in the past you do not deserve to live this way. I too have had the room of dog poop as well as some dog poo in all the other rooms too. And I had a balcony of dog poopy newspapers where cockroaches built a colony.
I don't have any solutions to add, but I wish you will post again because I care about you. Everyone here will.
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Post by heylady1 on Jun 9, 2008 13:38:50 GMT -5
Please don't give up on yourself!! You CAN do this!!! Is there a friend you can call for help? A big for you!!! You have a PM! |
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