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Post by survivorgurl on Apr 16, 2009 0:45:40 GMT -5
Hi all. I need some support for a meeting with DHS tomorrow. I finally was able to tell my story and it is on page 6 of the sad story of the woman arrested for squalor.
I'm usually around a level 2 squalor now and manage to maintain. I got my motel rooms done (for now) and am ready to work on apartment in chat tomorrow.
I just need alot of support right now. I am devastated by how my family has been destroyed and may not ever be re-united. I didn't realize the shame I have endured. I knew it was there, but didn't know how bad it was. I really feel horrible, though I've been a good mom. At this point, it's hard to say I'm a mom at all.
I have been stripped of my dignity, my rights and my voice. I have been humilated and shamed beyond belief at the hands of DHS.
I meet with the social wreckers (lawyer in tow) tomorrow at 10 am. Any support you can give me will be greatly appreciated. They are discussing what I can and can not say to my children. And setting up a possible visit. I am requesting supervised because I can't hear any more horror stories from the kids because my hands are tied and I am not allowed to help them.
I pray for each and every one of you to overcome squalor before your life is ripped apart like mine has been. It may be too late for me, but if I can help one person to never have to endure this pain, I will. I can survive public humilation because I've been thru it before.
I just really think I need to tell my story. It will help me, and most importantly it will help someone out there.
Thanx for listening. ~Lori
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Post by Meme on Apr 16, 2009 0:59:27 GMT -5
yes- I am praying for you and sigh- so sad in my heart-
- please come back to us and let us help you - we will stand with you-----
holding you in my heart
hugggs from Meme
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Post by annieblue on Apr 16, 2009 1:51:32 GMT -5
((((((Lori))))))I will be thinking of you as the day unfolds. Hang tight to your attorney, she is SO on your side. You get as much as you need OUT here. We are here for you & wishing you the best possible outcome! Keep Strong! Hold your head HIGH. Know you are NOT alone.
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Post by lilith on Apr 16, 2009 1:53:25 GMT -5
Lori,
You are not alone. Wishing you and your kids all the best tomorrow.
Love, Lilith
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Apr 16, 2009 4:50:46 GMT -5
------------ I've always believed in you, Lori ! ------------------
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Post by Little_Ninja on Apr 16, 2009 5:35:18 GMT -5
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Post by zinnia on Apr 16, 2009 6:22:54 GMT -5
I'll be thinking of you.
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Post by skatters on Apr 16, 2009 8:04:10 GMT -5
Lori - a special prayer said for you and your children.
And you have NOTHING to be ashamed of. We will stand behind you, and prop you up when necessary.
My best to you!
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Post by Di Dreaming on Apr 16, 2009 8:40:06 GMT -5
Lori, my prayers will be with you today as you face the lion's den. Hold your head up high, you have nothing to be ashamed of.
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Post by drivermom on Apr 16, 2009 9:10:25 GMT -5
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Post by survivorgurl on Apr 16, 2009 9:34:42 GMT -5
Thank you all for your kind words. It is astonishing that all this is from having a messy house nearly 3 years ago!!! The social wrecker just called and said they can't find a place to have the meeting. I don't want their negative energy in my house. My house has to be 110% before they come in anyway and I finally can work on that today. They are stalling because they don't want me to have the visit. Normally I would have said 'ok we'll reschedule' but I said 'we are going forth with this today or it will be another 2 weeks.' THEY want a meeting yet THEY can't provide the space. (Maybe social wrecker's office has squalor today!) Well ... despite going to bed late and the phone starting to ring early, I still have to clean today. I'm going to get this over with. Court house grounds sounds like enough space for 4 people too meet, so I told them I'd meet them there. It's as if I was a drug dealer or something. In fact, they treat me WORSE than drug dealers. (The lady who had a meth lab in town got her kids back after only a few months!) Squalor can ruin lives I just wish social wreckers/cops/judges could understand. I thought cleaning up my house and keeping it clean was the answer. It doesn't end though.
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Post by AnnieOkie on Apr 16, 2009 9:51:05 GMT -5
Lori-Keep fighting with all of your strength. Your children need you more than they have ever needed you. YOU CAN DO THIS! I pray your meeting goes well today. God bless you.
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Post by Platypus on Apr 16, 2009 10:08:24 GMT -5
You are so brave!!! I love the determination in your voice and the love you are showing for your children. I remember a line from a movie, now what was it??? A nun, Sister Valjean, something about ending capitol punishment...aside from that debate, the line was something like, "A person is more than their worst act." I never forgot that saying. You are more than your messiest room, your worst day or your biggest pile of dishes. You are not alone and we will support you all the way.
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Post by Platypus on Apr 16, 2009 10:17:40 GMT -5
I hope you are keeping diary with all these social workers names in it, so if, when these kids grow-up, they decide to sue DHS for leaving them in that situation with the ex, you will be able to back them up.
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Post by survivorgurl on Apr 16, 2009 12:24:53 GMT -5
I SURVIVED IT!!!! I got there and social wreckers were running around like crazy women and they said 'we don't have anyplace for this meeting!!' That was THEIR job, not mine. If you set up a meeting, you need to know where you are having it. My attorney wasn't there yet, and they were closing in for the kill! I jumped on the elevator and made a narrow escape. Called my lawyer who happened to be out front of the courthouse where I was. He said we could meet at his old office across the street. They were still complaining and arguing but we 'herded' em in there. They cackled and complained 'are there chairs in there? are we allowed to be in there?' We just ignored them. They had a week to set up a place for the meeting, I tackled that problem in about 3 minutes! There were various random chairs in his office and then a BIG QUEEN CHAIR with green crushed velvet. I gave each social wrecker a chance to choose a chair and none felt brave enough to sit in the queen chair ... so I DID!!! It was so funny. Well ... the gurl in the queen chair pretty much ruled and left them all speachless. I asked a few questions like 'On a scale of 1-10 (10 being very safe) how safe are my children at his house?' They wouldn't answer and wondered why I asked such a question. I said 'So would you say his house is a 9 or 10 for being very safe?' They agreed. I said 'Ok then, I am holding you accountable for my children's well being.' They went on to say how traumatized my children are by being ripped apart. Yet, they would not agree to full psych evaluations. I get to see my kids next week in the park for an hour with a supervisor. At this point, I requested strict supervision so they can't say I'm doing anything wrong during unsupervised times. I HAVE BEEN SUPERVISED FOR NEARLY 3 YRS NOW, ONLY BECAUSE OF THE SQUALOR ISSUE? What's up with that? Am I going to make a spontainous mess and someone will be injured? My lawyer is not always the greatest (court appointed), but he said DHS has ALOT of problems right now. Thank you for your help and support and I will keep coming back to gain the strength I need to fight this battle instead of cowardly hiding under a rock in shame. It was empowering to be a 'QUEEN FOR THE DAY!!' Who knew that would happen?!
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