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Post by paperpiler on Dec 8, 2009 13:49:51 GMT -5
I wanted to share this. It just happened.
I have two daughters. One is emotional like her mother. One is kind of distant like her father. I love both of them equally.
The more distant one doesn't usually say "I love you" unless I say it first. She sends me haha funny birthday cards. The emotional one says "I love you" all the time and sends sentimental cards.
That said, we all watch Hoarders (they're grown and don't live with me). I did not know my second daughter watches it until I talked to her last night. My first one has only recently spoken with me about my hoarding of paper, even though they were raised being around this. There has always been a tacit acceptance and no discussion. Even now, there is no nastiness at all. There is just love, but it's been something we've all kind of not talked about, yet we all know mom's surrounded by "her articles she saves."
I just received a text message out of the blue from my less emotional daughter, and all it said was, "I love you!" Rare. Very rare that something like that should pop up on my phone from her.
I called her and I said, "My goodness, where'd that one come from?" with a lilt in my voice. And she responded very quietly, "I just saw Hoarders...and it made me sad."
I know she was thinking of me when she saw that program. For her to then do something like that simple text message...without anything else...and to know why she said it......is worth GOLD to me today. Absolute gold.
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Post by success19 on Dec 8, 2009 14:08:42 GMT -5
Hm - I was just thinking maybe Augustine has Aspergers syndrome? I can't remember her making eye contact or being emotional - not really. Something to think about there.
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Post by charis on Dec 8, 2009 14:35:45 GMT -5
Dear paperpiler--it is a golden moment You must have been a lovely, warm mother to both girls as you are able to appreciate both of them for their differences
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Post by paperpiler on Dec 8, 2009 16:23:57 GMT -5
Thank you, Charis. We're all very close to each other--just in different ways. :-) It's just hard to explain how three simple words at that precise moment after her watching that show meant so much to me...I guess because it was her response to the situation. And her response was to say, "I saw this. I'm sad. I know you have your problems with paper. But I love you, Mom."
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Post by kadymae on Dec 8, 2009 19:57:43 GMT -5
The 12/7 episode ... thud.
I just wanted to cry and cry for both those women and their families. I'm just so glad they've both gotten help.
I think that the case of Judi (?) who is college educated and was a Technical Writer (which calls for being organized and logical) is a classic example of how this is a mental health issue after a certain point.
Because she was smart, and educated and logical and still couldn't see what she was doing to herself and the mess she lived in -- my god, I wouldn't condemn a even a serial rapist to live like that! -- until it hit a level that nearly killed her.
You can be educated and logical and there can still be that utter disconnect where the self is concerned.
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Post by HFH on Dec 8, 2009 20:29:31 GMT -5
I dont have cable so I have had to wait for the episodes to watch online. I have watched all the back episodes and I just finished watching last nghts. I cried through tthe entire thing. This is the first one I ever cried through. I just felt so bad for them, and I think so scared for me. I so DO NOT want to end up on the floor of my kitchen not able to get up, just waiting for help. I think I also felt bad because she was so totally at the mercy of where her daughter decided to put her to live. I would freak out if others were to decide my fate as to putting me in a state home. OK now I think I am rambling so I should stop typing
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Dec 8, 2009 21:45:59 GMT -5
Judi, the former technical writer, seemed like such a fragile soul, as if somewhere along the way something inside broke and buried her, just like the garbage and clutter inside her home. I can utterly understand why she didn't want to ask for help, even though her living situation had become so horrendous. She's obviously very intelligent--she wouldn't have been able to earn a living as a technical writer if she wasn't--and she was well-aware of how others would see her if they saw how she was living. Yet she was too overwhelmed emotionally to be able to do anything about the overwhelming situation in her house. It was just so sad. All I wanted to do was reach thru the screen and give her a great big hug. (And you know how the movers chipped in and bought Augustine a new chair on last week's episode? I wish someone had given Gail a new bear. I know, I know, it could just be the start of more clutter in her newly clutter-free house, it's one more thing she doesn't need, etc., but she was so brokenhearted about the loss of the bear from her childhood, I just wanted someone to maybe give her one to commemorate her new clean home. I guess I'm too sentimental. . .)
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Post by success19 on Dec 8, 2009 22:26:47 GMT -5
You know someone who has been very independent and perhaps used to doing things all on their own - probably won't ask for help - I wonder if she dropped hints to her family - sometimes adult children just aren't listening - after all learning how to take care of a parent who is aging is a new experience for them too. It is sad that her legs got into such a bad condition.
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Post by brenda on Dec 9, 2009 2:04:15 GMT -5
Last nights show was heartbreaking and disturbing. I think they should not have shown Judy's story as she seems seriously mentally ill not simply a hoarder.
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Post by shopgirl on Dec 9, 2009 3:09:37 GMT -5
I didn't like the show last night. It was too much.
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Post by serenitynow on Dec 9, 2009 8:45:05 GMT -5
Very moving episode on a deleted scene on Hoarders showing Augustine and Jason. The organizer asked if there was anything he wanted to say to her because children removed from homes often have different problems. He told her he would always be grateful that she instilled in him a love of nature and animals. He was facing her and they were holding hands. She said that she loved him and missed him. Google Hoarders TV episodes. serenitynow
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Post by Chris on Dec 9, 2009 8:51:16 GMT -5
Last nights show was heartbreaking and disturbing. I think they should not have shown Judy's story as she seems seriously mentally ill not simply a hoarder. Hi Brenda -- I agree with you -- there was something very different about Judy's situation -- the only thing I could think of as to why they did show it was if that is truly the "end case scenario" like that's how it often ends up after years and years without intervention -- but they should have said so if that was the case. My husband happened to put it on the channel when they were cleaning out the diapers and he was real disturbed seeing even a little tiny bit about that. I'm not sure how/why I watched the whole thing.
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Post by wendy on Dec 9, 2009 15:10:57 GMT -5
Well, there's no doubt these first two episodes have been extremely disturbing, very extreme cases with complicating factors thrown in. Some of us will undoubtedly find them too difficult to watch. I continue to think, however, that the existence of the show is a good thing, as it gives the problem more exposure and will undoubtedly encourage more sufferers to seek help. I hope, however, that they will mix in less severe cases, because those are the ones that engender a sense of hope-- and ultimately, I think it's that little spark of hope which leads people to seek help for themselves and start turning things around.
Wendy
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Post by Script on Dec 10, 2009 7:40:45 GMT -5
I hope, however, that they will mix in less severe cases, because those are the ones that engender a sense of hope-- and ultimately, I think it's that little spark of hope which leads people to seek help for themselves and start turning things around. I watched some (not all) of these 2 new episodes. I was struck dumb with FEAR. Not because of the human waste problem; but because I believe that these extreme hoarders are also seriously mentally ill. And this is something I have always FEARed: that I will go 'completely crazy'. Not just the 'little bit nutty' that I am at all times. Plus, I have a LOT of trouble with the extremism as it is sooooo sensational. Imagine, for example, that a tv show billed itself as "Depression unmasked" or some such name. Now, we have lots of folks here with mood disorders. Me included. Lots of us go to work, raise families, do productive things. Maybe not 100% 'perfectly' but functionally. So.....imagine that fictional tv "depression" reality series. And week after week after ghastly week they show totally bedridden mostly comatose unfunctioning vegetative souls confined to horrible institutions. After a while, the mental health agencies around the world would be up in arms. Because such extremist material feeds the sense of hopelessness that many depressives already feel. AND it contributes to the STIGMA that mental illness patients are CRAZY, not to be trusted, useless drains on society, and so on. I also seriously wonder if there can be any true rehabilitation of the extreme-end-case-hoarders like Judi. And if so, why show her, except for the sensationalism? Is it also possible that she was on medication during some of the interviews? There was definite differences in her appearance and emotional responsiveness. By the way, I have not been able to watch either of these two shows 'right up to the end'-----just too upsetting. The most positive thing in both episodes: the true caring and patience and LOVE of the poor family members...............something to think about.........
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Post by serenitynow on Dec 10, 2009 9:18:48 GMT -5
Excellent post, script! Sensationalism is the name of the game. serenitynow
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