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Post by dayeanu on May 9, 2012 22:10:19 GMT -5
Oh, Womble! How horrible, rude, just an awful way to do you and your family!
Could you go for coffee only, or join them for dessert? I just think it is horrible to force such a hardship on you!
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Post by razy on May 10, 2012 2:40:50 GMT -5
That'a horrible Womble, I have been in situations like that and I have felt really bad on so many levels. But good work on the clothes!
We have a bit of a culture in our office of swapping around our clothes and over the past week I have brought home 2 pairs of shoes and a jacket. And I bought a pair of shoes at an Op shop last week. I will put 1 old pair in the give away bag......and if I think about it hard enough I might be able to get rid of another jacket...or not - I might wear it .....it's getting colder here and I don't think I have enough warm work clothes....
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Post by Di on May 10, 2012 9:15:09 GMT -5
I agree with days. I would claim that I had a previous dinner engagement but would "TRY" to make it for dessert. ..Then dress to the nines and stroll in late laughing. "Oh dear, I seem to be a bit late...oops. sorry"
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Post by womble on May 10, 2012 9:43:24 GMT -5
Thanks all I feel a bit better now I have got if off my chest, I think if I can get MIL alone I will tell her how upsetting it is. My SIL only picks up the phone when she wants something so I don't expect any different, but my MIL has a written copy of our monthly budget, so knows we couldn't have afforded that gift or the meals, it was hard enough sharing something like that as we have never really got on well, but I was just starting to trust her again and I now feel rightly or wrongly there is something nasty in her actions. The plan at the moment is I have asked eldest DD to make an excuse that she can't come so that rules out her BF too and then the three of us will order the cheapest thing on the menu. Thanks for listening
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Post by dayeanu on May 10, 2012 9:52:21 GMT -5
Oh, I hope you can tall to MIL about this. For one thing, her reaction will give you a clear picture of what she's about!
I am just outraged on your behalf!
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Post by DJ on May 11, 2012 0:04:25 GMT -5
failed today. was still searching for a purse and instead found ridiculously clearanced mother of pearl inlaid trinket box the perfect size for holding my cigarettes since i make my own and have been stuffing them into whatever is handy 2 more pairs of undies at 1.99 each. DKNY, lace, adorable for 1.99 clearanced 5 dollar white wonderbra, i need the wondering.
my weight's fluctuating within a 30 pound range and that means bra size changes too, that really sucks.
none of it should have been bought. i'm embarrassed but i still liked it all and immediately brought it home and washed/put things away/put them to use.
i've been depressed for months and health issues have not been under control. logging things in this thread has made it clear to me i'm making less than intelligent choices and shopping to make myself feel better. the purchases are mostly minimal in quantity, size, and cost and they have all been things that have immediately been placed in a proper home in my home and i have enjoyed them but it's simply not something i should be doing with how things are. they're things to address what illness is doing to me physically- sprays, drops, lotions, & makeup. those vary from needed for simple comfort to varying levels of vanity to try and lessen scarring and cover up skin issues. plants, an indulgence whenever i feel bleh frippery of lace and ribboned undergarments.
bleh.
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Post by dayeanu on May 11, 2012 4:16:44 GMT -5
failed today. was still searching for a purse and instead found ridiculously clearanced mother of pearl inlaid trinket box the perfect size for holding my cigarettes since i make my own and have been stuffing them into whatever is handy 2 more pairs of undies at 1.99 each. DKNY, lace, adorable for 1.99 clearanced 5 dollar white wonderbra, i need the wondering. my weight's fluctuating within a 30 pound range and that means bra size changes too, that really sucks. none of it should have been bought. i'm embarrassed but i still liked it all and immediately brought it home and washed/put things away/put them to use. i've been depressed for months and health issues have not been under control. logging things in this thread has made it clear to me i'm making less than intelligent choices and shopping to make myself feel better. the purchases are mostly minimal in quantity, size, and cost and they have all been things that have immediately been placed in a proper home in my home and i have enjoyed them but it's simply not something i should be doing with how things are. they're things to address what illness is doing to me physically- sprays, drops, lotions, & makeup. those vary from needed for simple comfort to varying levels of vanity to try and lessen scarring and cover up skin issues. plants, an indulgence whenever i feel bleh frippery of lace and ribboned undergarments. bleh. This is one place where I get tripped up with the whole shopping thing. As I was reading about your purchases, I was glad that you bought these things. I can sense the enjoyment and tiny bit of pampering you will get from the beautiful little box and other items. The bra sounds needed, for sure. And dont you deservea decent place to keep your cigs? It sounds like you've been storing them in whatever random thing you can find at the moment. You are not a bag lady. Don't you deserve the beautiful and inexpensive little box, for which you have a use and a need? Just a few dollars to pamper your soul a little bit. And the nice undies, same thing. Isn't it ok to have a bit of frilly enjoyment. On the other hand, the dollar spent here and there (and in some cases - this doesn't sound like one of them) the stuff pile up. Where do we draw the line between "making do," and having decent, even enjoyable things? At some point it almost seems like it is about self-respect. We need to treat ourselves like we deserve better than "just making do" with whatever rag or bit of trash we can make use of. Where's the balance between being conservative and disrespecting ourselves? I just don't know. (((((((hugs)))))) I hope you feel better today.
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Post by Di on May 11, 2012 11:20:54 GMT -5
I have to admit that I was mentally applauding your purchases as well. Nice undies to wear are vital to me and having beautiful things around me keeps me from sliding back into clutter. Seeing my silver brush, my Lennox jewelry bowl's and my crystal pieces on display motivates me to keep things looking nice. We deserve small extravagances occasionally.
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Post by Ally on May 11, 2012 15:31:03 GMT -5
SH, I agree with the others. Sometimes we need to buy a few little extravagances for ourselves. I'm having to stop myself from going into a lecture about the cigarettes... I work as a Respiratory Therapist... just think of all the $$$... okay I'm done.
The other day I posted on the Basement Bully thread about my Hoarding Hooigan who has coerced me to bid on something like 10 pair of jeans on ebay for DD. I was outbid on the first pair I bid on, and then I just assumed I'd be outbid on some others... Needless to say, I wasn't outbid on ANY of the others. I was feeling very badly about all that impulsive bidding...
The jeans have been coming in the mail over the past few days. The first pair were in good condition but DD didn't like them. The box of 4 pair that came today had her ecstatic. 3 of the 4 were keepers. At least I don't feel so badly about it now. The jeans that she doesn't like will most likely be donated to charity... or I've been thinking of making a denim rag quilt, so I could use them for that.
I also bid on some slightly used Teva sport sandals (from ebay) for her to wear at camp. I also ordered a bunch of things she will need at camp from a camping catalog/online store. She will be working as a counselor, and going out into the "wilderness" for days at a time. The Teva's were too big. Some of the clothes I ordered for her were too small. We will be driving to the camping gear place in NJ tomorrow, and exchange what didn't fit. I haven't decided what to do with the Teva's yet. They are not cheap, and I'm not sure I just want to donate them.
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Post by dayeanu on May 12, 2012 1:29:23 GMT -5
I went to the store today. An unplanned trip, while waiting for DGS at swim team practice.
I bought a nail brush $1. A pint of chocolate milk for DGS $1.19, a plastic one-step step stool $5.50 (I have been looking for one of these for the kitchen; I can sit on it to get in the lower shelves, as well as use for a step stool.) I had intended to buy all these items recently - just had not thought of it today, until I went in the store and saw them. Total expenditure under $10.
Tonight I had to make another trip to town to get medical supplies for DD re surgery recovery. While shopping for her I started feeling like I was going to pass out. Decided I needed to eat something. Bought a small package of baked turkey breast, $1.00, and bowl of hummus, $2.00. Some walnuts, almonds and pecans. And a package of mints for DGS.
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Post by DJ on May 12, 2012 1:42:24 GMT -5
I'm not spending a lot of money on the stuff but it's not required. Kind of torn and mostly tired. I have areas of my home that tidy up rapidly and fine and are pretty much A-ok and other areas that are absolutely horrible pits. the things i've got all go into places that are tidy and pleasant to be in, usually. the place has devolved over the last few months and i've been trying to gather my wits and set at least some of it to rights. i don't like bringing pretty things into icki places so.. yeah, the things have forced me to make more of an effort to keep bedroom, bathroom, closet tidied up again. i got a 4 pack of white kitchen towels since many of mine were so raggedy and i couldn't stand setting them on the kitchen counter looking all tidy and clean without cleaning off the kitchen counter first, so yeah, a dollar or two spent forces me to clean up many square feet because i can't stand having something that i wanted, picked, then spent money on to go somewhere unpleasant. so.. yeah, doctor's appointments, picked up more scripts. got the 4 pack of towels while i was there and the nail polish remover since i was out and having chipped nail polish isn't so great, having chipped neon yellow nail polish is really bad. and the cyber lecture can't top the GP's lecture, the rheumy's lecture and certainly not the hematologists/oncologist's lecture before that and yeah, no lack of them on the bright side i roll my own so it's about 2 dollars a pack and smoking four or five a day it's pretty low on the expenses list at least. i apologise for not commenting on other peoples posts, i don't know what to make of my own random shopping let alone others. though i wanted to poke some of womble's family members in the eye. i'm sorry they keep setting you up into an uncomfortable, unpleasant, and unkind situation :/
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Post by dayeanu on May 12, 2012 1:57:32 GMT -5
Sparklehorse, please don't worry about replying to others' posts on this thread. It's not really that kind of thread, except just here and there as we have an insight, or feel inspired - like with Womble's post, where we ALL want to poke them in the eye! Or your post that really got me thinking.
(Thanks for posting.)
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Post by dayeanu on May 13, 2012 1:31:40 GMT -5
I went to the store tonight. Bought a Mother's Day card and flowers for Mother, some small flower arrangements to take to the cemetery for grandmothers' and great-grandmothers' monuments. Bought a small pot of Rosemary and one of Stevia for my Mother's Day present to me, (to be planted outside.) No house clutter! I intended to buy chamomille tea but forgot it.
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Post by dayeanu on May 14, 2012 17:01:48 GMT -5
I stopped at the dollar store after driving DD to work last night. Bought 3 flower pots - they are really nice pots, for $1 each! Two fancy terra cotta, one pretty white ceramic with drain tray and nice design. Bought a bottle of bath salts, and a bottle of off-brand Listerine to soak my feet. The personal squalor thread has got me thinking about my personal care, and I am doing more along those lines. Today my feet are minty fresh. I'm trying to remember what else I bought. It was so important last night that I HAD TO buy it, but can I even remember today? I bought a small plastic organizer box for my office, and a little picture frame. There's one more item, but I can't remember it now. Oh, yeah, a shower cap. I did pick up and look at a lot of stuff, many, many things, thought about this thread, thought about how quickly dollars add up, thought about how clutter piles up, and put it back. I went home and as I started to set the sack down, it occurred to me, I could put the stuff away right then! So I did. That may be the first time I've EVER done that. (Well, I typically put away frozen food), but not other stuff. I felt rather proud of myself.
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Post by Di on May 14, 2012 17:06:25 GMT -5
Days not dropping after shopping? ? What a concept!!!! I may have to try it. THAT IS GREAT!!!!! I have a very difficult time managing to follow through on that.
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