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Post by dayeanu on Mar 25, 2012 20:03:23 GMT -5
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allwell
New Member
All will be well
Joined: April 2009
Posts: 56
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Post by allwell on Mar 25, 2012 22:12:35 GMT -5
dayeanu Thanks for all the encouragement and good advice. I don't feel as overwhelmed now, I did the hardest thing today, I started!
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Post by howardsgirlfriend on Mar 25, 2012 22:26:20 GMT -5
What a good idea to call them for more information!
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Post by lizzie on Mar 26, 2012 0:09:24 GMT -5
Hi Allwell, keep in mind that you are able to present yourself well when you go out, that you have a responsible job which you do well, that you are involved in your church, and that you look after your dog and take him out for walks.
I know it seems difficult, when you look at the mess, to remember that you are able to be competent and well regarded in the other areas. But those competent parts of you are ALSO you, of course, as well as the parts that in the past felt overwhelmed by the mess. I am glad you have started posting, it is good to know you are not alone, isn't it!
As you are on the computer a lot, you might find Chat helpful, if you haven't been there already. Best wishes and here's strength to your arm, as they say (that will be the arm that flings the rubbish out), regards, Lizzie
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allwell
New Member
All will be well
Joined: April 2009
Posts: 56
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Post by allwell on Mar 26, 2012 10:01:56 GMT -5
lizzie thanks so much for your encouragement and support. I especially like and feel inspired by this: "I know it seems difficult, when you look at the mess, to remember that you are able to be competent and well regarded in the other areas. But those competent parts of you are ALSO you, of course, as well as the parts that in the past felt overwhelmed by the mess." I'll keep reading this over and over, it inspires me. It is good to know we are not alone in all of this!
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allwell
New Member
All will be well
Joined: April 2009
Posts: 56
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Post by allwell on Mar 26, 2012 10:17:16 GMT -5
Quick update: I called the Board of Health and spoke to the inspector, he was going to come by my house today! I explained my situation and that I was working on getting things in decent shape. He said that he wants have a quick look so he can get a baseline on the condition of the apartment so he can see what progress I make and if I any services.He did agree to postpone the assessment until next Mon! Whew! I've just been invited by my cousin for a spontaneous lunch at her house, so I am going to enjoy this and then get to work for the next week, I know I can do this! Thanks again, for all of your support, encouragement and advice! Once I get on track I will pay this forward to others on the board.
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Post by dayeanu on Mar 26, 2012 10:44:00 GMT -5
Great news there! So glad you called! Enjoy your lunch.
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Post by maggie on Mar 26, 2012 12:11:51 GMT -5
I understand the panic about letting the inspector see. However, if your city has a task force, then they know SOMETHING about hoarding and squalor, and they will have seen some difficult situations. What stood out to me is that he wants to see if you need any services. I think that is very positive, and I hope that you will be offered some assistance, and that you will be able to accept it. You are undertaking a monumental task!
I have no experience whatsoever with inspections, but it occurs to me that you should take some pictures of how your house is now. The inspector mentioned that he wants to see what progress you are making. I think it might be valuable for you to be able to show him how much you have already done. My guess would be that they want to know if they are dealing with someone who is willing to work on the issue, or if this will be a situation where nothing gets done for months and months until a clean up is forced. If you find that the inspector is sensitive and sympathetic, you may choose to show him the photos during the initial inspection.
Good luck!
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Post by RoadRunner on Mar 26, 2012 12:49:58 GMT -5
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Post by morningglory on Mar 26, 2012 13:10:58 GMT -5
allwell, I just want to reiterate that you are NOT alone. There are so many people in this forum who are intelligent, sensitive, creative, caring people, and also struggle with the same issues you are dealing with. Try to overcome the sense of shame, since this situation is not the result of a moral failing, just an area in which you need help.
My heart really goes out to you with trying to keep up with things while dealing with physical incapacity and depression! It can become a terrible cycle, because the more you have to let things go, the harder it gets to catch up and the more overwhelming it all seems!
I am so impressed that you called the inspector. That was a great idea. And I agree with everyone who has said that this intervention might be a very helpful thing, in spite of the incredible stress and embarrassment. I sincerely hope that they will be able to help set you up with some kind of services to help you keep up with things.
Stay strong and remember we're all here to listen and encourage you along the way!
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Post by dayeanu on Mar 26, 2012 16:22:06 GMT -5
Taking "before" pictures is an excellent, and I think important, thing for you to do.
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Post by momofgirls on Mar 26, 2012 22:03:29 GMT -5
I wish you all the luck and strength to get this taken care of!
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allwell
New Member
All will be well
Joined: April 2009
Posts: 56
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Post by allwell on Mar 28, 2012 12:53:27 GMT -5
Hi All, Feeling panicky today. Mon I saw my psychiatrist, who is great, and told him the full story. His first comment was that my neighbor should have spoken to me before going to the BOH and he asked how did the neighbor know of the state of my place? Probably looked in windows although curtains cover most windows.I told him all about SOS and how supportive and helpful you all are. I also have ADD and I don't spring into action unless I'm under the gun, my words. I did feel better after our session he reminded me of the progress I have made in the last year and how deeply depressed I was when we started on meds and therapy in 1/11. He also asked me how I was dealing with the grieving over my father's death, 5 weeks ago, was I crying? I have been crying on and off but it has felt good to do so, he said that was healthy. He also said that he was there to help if I needed a letter or anything else from him for the BOH. Afterwards took my dog to the dog park and planned on getting to work in the afternoon after a bit to eat and going online for a bit. I felt sleepy and then achy and nauseous so for the rest of the day and evening did nothing towards my Crisis Clean Up. Plan today is to get down to work, all I've done so far is write up lists but again I feel the panic setting in and that overwhelmed feeling which causes paralysis. Should I try to postpone the BOH visit? ask my psychiatrist to write a letter? What do you all think? I would love to hear your feedback.
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Post by dayeanu on Mar 28, 2012 13:06:45 GMT -5
I don't know what to suggest. I know that panic and dread can paralyze you, so it may be that getting the visit over with is a better plan.
On the other hand, if you think you can make good progress while waiting, ask for a delay. My logical thought is ask for a delay, and make as much progress as you can. BUT . . .
When I used to have a deadline looming with my house - relatives who would invite themselves for a few days - I would become overwhelmed with dread, would get so sleepy I could barely keep my eyes open, waves of weakness and nausea. The stress was horrible. That was just with relatives coming.
I think do what will lessen the stress on you.
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Post by bluefrog on Mar 28, 2012 13:53:16 GMT -5
Allwell, don't over-think this. Set a timer for five minutes and clear out something. If you want to continue to clean, go ahead, but you don't have to. Just five minutes. Take a break, drink some water, eat a snack, play on your computer for a bit, or pet your dog. Then set the timer again. Keep doing that until the panic subsides. Things done a little at a time still get done, and don't feel so overwhelming.
You can do this!
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