Post by gottaproblem on Mar 28, 2012 15:50:10 GMT -5
It is very scary to think that the BOH is getting involved. I know how embarrassing it is to have friends or family see the condition our homes have gotten into. (i was the same way, now my house is completely empty and being renovated, but I still remember the feelings) I just wanted to say that no one ever died of embarrassment, I am living proof. My family kind of came in and purged stuff (I am still grieving the loss of some things) but I did not die. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
"When you wish upon a star Makes no difference who you are Anything your heart desires Will come to you"
moggyfan I understand what you're saying, but I feel so stressed right now and I know that everything is heightened because I also grieving my father's recent death, so it's one more thing. I also feel like I have very little energy. I rent my place and my landlady is great, leaves us alone, I do talk to her on the phone and know she is very fond of me. If she saw the place like it is now I would feel like I had really let her down.Hopefully I'll be in a better frame of mind tomorrow and can accomplish something.
dayeanu "When I used to have a deadline looming with my house - relatives who would invite themselves for a few days - I would become overwhelmed with dread, would get so sleepy I could barely keep my eyes open, waves of weakness and nausea. The stress was horrible. That was just with relatives coming." Oh I know just what you mean, in the days when I had relatives or friends over I had the symptoms you describe, awful.
Post by morningglory on Mar 28, 2012 18:20:57 GMT -5
If you need to postpone, to prepare yourself emotionally as much as make some more progress on the condition of your place, then that's just what you have to do. If it's possible that is.
Great idea to get a letter from the doctor.
Do you take, or could you get, medication for the panic?
I strongly agree with bluefrog's suggestion to take things a few minutes at a time, without over-analyzing.
I also think you should concentrate on the *garbage* and not worry about messiness (things out of place). Get any trash, food, and organic matter of any kind OUT. It won't require any sorting or thinking.
I'm sure someone has asked upthread, but is there *anyone* who could help you in person, either to help bag an haul to just to keep you steady emotionally?
The fact that you are so embarrassed about this shows that your head is on straight--that you aren't in denial about the situation or think that it's acceptable to live the way you have been. It can be very physically demanding to keep up with housework, and things really can creep up and overtake you when you are incapacitated by illness.
Hang in there, and do accept the challenge to set the timer for 5 minutes and do whatever you can in that amount of time, then come back here and let us know how it went.
Allwell- oh boy-- the dreading is at least as bad as whatever happens- worse usually. I hate that. I think working on the trash first is a good thing-- and the letter from your doc too--as far as postponing- I dunno- I sometimes get on the stick when under pressure- othertimes I want to run for the hills- whatever you do-- it will be the right thing. You have a lot going on-I hope you feel better and i am sorry that you have this added stress on top of everything else Hang in there. Bizzy
Hi All, Many thanks for all of your kind words and advice. I feel less panicky today, but had trouble sleeping last night, kept feeling that dread. This is what I think I'm going to do, call the BOH and tell the guy how stressful this deadline of Mon is for me, could he extend it to Thurs? I will also ask him if he would like to have a letter from my Dr. I know some have you have said I shouldn't postpone this but I feel that these extra days will help me attain my goal of getting rid of all the gross stuff and that I am really making a concerted effort. In addition to dealing with my own grief I have been spending a lot of time on the phone talking with my mother, they were married for 63 years and this is an incredible adjustment for her.
So, do one, teeny, tiny little thing. "That" will help you to get motivated.
Sometimes, you just have to do what you just have to do. This week, I've been sorting through more of my late friend's belongings. I work a while, and I cry a while, and I work a while. But it has to be done--in my case, anyway--so I'm doing it! You can, too. It's OK to grieve as you work!
Update: I went to the dentist for a cleaning, during a check my dentist found that a tooth that was a problem in 11/11, when I had my last check up, is now infected and must be pulled asap. The antibiotic needs a few days to work so an appointment was made for Mon, the same day the BOH guy was supposed to come to my house. So I called the BOH and spoke to this guy's assistant telling her that I had to have the tooth pulled on Mon. I also told her how stressed I felt about all of this in addition to my father's recent death and that I would be visiting my mother over Easter, could the assessment be changed to 4/12? She said she would relay the message to him, she seemed very sympathetic. I also wrote a letter to my upstairs neighbors giving this update and telling them that I take full responsibility my situation and that I would be making a concerted effort to bring my place up to an acceptable level. I also told them I was going for therapy and participating in a support group(SOS!) So although I have not taken physical action in cleaning up, I have taken action to get control of the situation by just being straightforward with those involved. I feel much so much better about everything and plan to start clean up tomorrow.
Post by messymommy on Mar 29, 2012 21:12:11 GMT -5
Good for you, allwell! If you are having trouble tomorrow deciding where to start, I'll share what works for me. I get a box of trash bags and go all over the house filling them up with trash. Don't worry about anything else - just trash. It requires no thought (for most of us) and you will have instant gratification. Things always look amazingly better when the trash is gone and usually smell better, too. (Be sure to take it out when you are done so it doesn't get torn open and scattered again.)
Then, put some sort of trash receptacle in every room - even if it's just a cardboard box. It's easier to keep the trash picked up if there is a place to put it in every room.
You can do this! I know you can. We will help you.
You are dealing with the various people/agencies in a very responsible manner - I know that the BOH must get a range of responses to their request to inspect - so you behaving in a positive, responsive way I think will help in the long run.
As to teeth infections - they are definitely serious and need to be addressed ASAP so you don't have a systemic (whole body) problem. Infections take a lot out of a person as your body's immune system tried to fight it - and it this infection has been in you for a while - it will take a while to clear out! Energy level and concentration/focus is definitely reduced during the time you have the infection. Hopefully once it is dealt with you will have the psychological/emotional energy as well as the physical energy to make a different in your environment.
Keep us up to day - read all the different suggestions - just 5 minutes of concentrated work CAN make a different! And it adds up.
Messymommy, Thanks for your suggestions, I will focus on trash collection tomorrow. Good idea about a trash receptacle in every room. Ontheway, Thanks for the encouragement. It dawned on me today that the tooth infection has been slowing me down, it hasn't hurt so I don't know how long I've had it, I know the antibiotic will help, the dentist doubled the dosage just for today so it would kick in quickly. I've been watching episodes of "Hoarders" and realize that I'll be so glad to be free of stuff, I don't feel the need to hang onto useless stuff which is dragging me down. I don't know what I would do without SOS, you are all so helpful and encouraging. I will plan to play it all forward after this hurdle.