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Post by lucie on May 27, 2015 6:31:39 GMT -5
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Post by openwindows on May 27, 2015 9:47:06 GMT -5
mynicehome[/p] I don't know how many times I needed my exSO to just give me a warm hug and tell me not to worry, we'd get through it. But I can tell you how many times it actually happened. It happened only after I told him that I needed a hug, after I told him I needed to hear that that I, with him by my side, would get through it. I had to put the words into his mouth and the squeeze into his hug. Totally un-comforting. I didn't ask too many times before I stopped asking at all.
I've had more genuinely caring hugs online here at SooS in the last six weeks than I had from exSO in the last six years. [/quote] This makes me so sad =( Human touch is essential for survival.
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Post by ohblondie on May 27, 2015 10:01:10 GMT -5
I have to say DD surprised me and helped SO MUCH in getting kitchen ready for our Memorial DAy cookout. I wish she would do the same in other parts of hte house.
I love when we ALL chip in and and work together.......I think we get so much more accomplished. I know I do!
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Post by ohblondie on May 27, 2015 10:05:38 GMT -5
openwindows.. If you've never been yelled at because a grown man is out of underwear because you didn't check his drawer to know he was running low then search for where he left his dirties (true story, it was 5am and he woke me up screaming) OMG - this happens at our house too! One day I yelled back - either tell me you are almost out or do it yourself! Not my problem at 5am. It's not like I can start a load and get it dry by the time he has to walk out the door. Not that I am going to either......I am trying to get out the door as well!
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Post by larataylor on May 27, 2015 10:34:19 GMT -5
Take away emotional abuse - add emotional support - I don't think I would even care about the mess. At least not the same way.
Being emotionally abused when I express what I want and need - that's the huge thing.
Today I really feel like running away, but I have nowhere to run to. I think one more crazy-making conversation is just going to kill me.
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Post by openwindows on May 27, 2015 10:42:54 GMT -5
rubyred I'm so sorry to hear how your father treated you mother. I can't imagine growing up in such an environment. larataylor I'm completely aware that his behavior is abusive at times. My dad has a tendency to be verbally abusive as well and it has made me hyper aware of the long-term effects. I'm very quick to jump up and point it out as it happens *cue the this is abuse, I deserve better, how would you feel if your daughter was treated this way? fight* Probably not the healthiest way to cope but I refuse to cower or deal with the nonsense. (That's what my mom does. She also internalizes her emotions until she becomes so ill she ends up hospitalized every few years) It was his verbal and emotional abuse that led to our separation and I didn't even consider a reconciliation until he was able to admit his actions and offer me an unprompted apology. Our reconciliation hinges on his ability to provide a safe, secure environment for our child. We love each other desperately but my first responsibly is to my child and I refuse to damage her with something as selfish as my love for a man. My parents are still crazy in love with each other too but I paid the price for their commitment and refuse to continue the cycle. I can love him without living with him if that's the healthier option. So far things are good.
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Post by mynicehome on May 27, 2015 14:37:28 GMT -5
Take away emotional abuse - add emotional support - I don't think I would even care about the mess. At least not the same way. I couldn't agree more.
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Post by Admin on Aug 15, 2021 16:21:25 GMT -5
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