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Post by wynken on Jan 1, 2017 8:56:46 GMT -5
I'm starting over. Wanting to get some good ordinary habits happening regularly here.
Recently I read a link about habit formation, and the breaking of bad habits, and their main focus was to appreciate both the why you want the habit, and to send yourself encouraging messages and emotion during and after the doing of it.
Msg to me - Talk myself through the tasks. Be encouraging and complimentary to myself.
Make the task a doable size. Where there is a backlog, define the how much you are going to do in a session. And how often the sessions are. For example .. regarding the dishes, a household of 1 and a household of 6 may have different answers to those basic questions. If there is a large backlog, washing up ones days dishes plus a couple more may promote a better result in terms of daily effort than doing a marathon, then letting a backlog begin again. Or maybe you would like to do your own experiment. ? I do think it is slightly different for those with or without a dish washer of the machine type, but even for those dw owners, there are things that need hand washing. So all are welcome. Personally, I'm a dish washer of the human variety.
Flylady suggests putting the dishes in a box on the floor so you can get at the sink to clean it to begin, so (Perhaps without getting lost in the mist of a bleach fog) that may be a starting point for some. People have used the Don't break the chain method of crossing the days off on a calendar as you keep at the habit. The Tiny Habits Professor is big on celebrating the win of success, and making it a tiny habit to begin with to ensure success..
There was more, but those were the pointers I remember. There is plenty of strategies, and words written about this. Some links that may be helpful. michaelhyatt.com/make-a-new-habit-stick.html (I just found this tonight.) flylady.net (though flylady concentrates on the shiny sink, not the washing of dishes. It was a strategy that did work for me years ago.) lifehacker.com/281626/jerry-seinfelds-productivity-secret tinyhabits.com/
If you wish to post here to build a better habit then please do, and welcome. Tell us of your progress and successes. The how of your success. I do ask you though, please help build a cheer squad here. A row of dancing bananas or cows or whatever, or a few kind words can do wonders. And try the happy appreciation gratitude thing. That is an experiment for me to try.
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Post by entropy on Jan 1, 2017 9:58:10 GMT -5
I'm trying to get back to a clean kitchen 10 minutes at a time. I might only do one 10 minute session a day (although I'm trying for more).
This morning - two 10 minute sessions done (put yesterday's clean dishes away, dishes washed , stove top cleaned)
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Post by outfromundah on Jan 1, 2017 10:04:37 GMT -5
Doing the dishes was, for years and years, the bane of my existence. Partly out of being stubbornly layzee and partly due to my dermatitis on both hands, which results in dried, cracking, bleeding, sore hands and especially my knuckles (no dw here). Gloves would make me sweat when I had to stand there washing for a long time, so I was damned if I did and damned if I didn't. I always hated doing dishes! It was a major bone of contention with my ex-husband (and yes, he did dishes, but didn't want to be the only one, especially since most of those that piled up were mine).
I would notoriously let things pile up while still pulling clean stuff out of the cabinet to use, instead of washing what was in the sink. What made it even worse was that I live in a small apartment with a tiny kitchen and tiny sink, so when they pile up, there is no room to do anything.
When I first joined here, every single pot, bottle, dish, glass, and piece of cutlery I owned was dirty and I was using paper plates and plastic forks. The sink itself was gross and cruddy with gunk, and I had glasses and mugs all over the apartment, ugh. Then somewhere (not sure if it was here or not), I read the suggestion to bring dishes to the bathtub and do them in there.
So I did that. It enabled me to put every dirty item in one place and soak them all with hot soapy water. I sat on a little stool next to the bathtub and washed everything, putting the clean items in dishpans.
When I filled up the two dishpans I have, I would get up to dry them off and put them away. Rinse and repeat until all is done, taking occasional breaks, and then clean the tub. Not having the ability to take a shower spurred me to get them done in a few days. It wasn't fun, but it was much better for me to sit and wash dishes than to stand.
I think I joined here a little over two years ago, and I have let everything pile up again and again, and wound up bringing them to the bathtub a few times more. Then I started just keeping dirty dishes in the dishpans and keeping my sink clean. I could handle washing a small dishpanful at a time. That seemed to work for a while. I would have periods of kinda doing dishes (but always leaving some undone), interspersed with big piling up and marathon wash sessions.
For some reason, after my most recent massive pile-up a few months ago, I think I finally got fed up -- or something, but I don't exactly know why the shift happened -- and my sink and kitchen counter have been at zero squalor ever since. Maybe I just got tired of fighting with myself over dishes. I did get rid of a good-sized pile of plates and bowls, which helped limit how much could pile up, I think. I now do not neglect my dishes for more than two days, and my sink and counter has been clean.
The rest of my kitchen wasn't in good shape until about two weeks ago, and I can't say I'll never let my dishes pile up again, but I am currently keeping up with them and it isn't hard. In fact, the sink and my dishes were the only squalor-free area in my apartment for a while.
There's no actual method or formula in my story, nor a list to check off or anything like that, so I don't know how helpful it is - but I thought I would share because I am finding out that the seemingly impossible can become possible and do-able.
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Post by Louie on Jan 1, 2017 11:54:36 GMT -5
I'd like to join in as I have made getting the dishes done and kitchen clean ( not perfect, just clean) one of my main goals for this year. I really like your dishwashing thread wynken and it has helped me a lot in the past. A little bit about our situation - not looking for advice please - just describing. We seem to go through a lot of dishes, pots & pans each day. There are three of us and we each eat a bit differently and often at different times. I used to try and change this as I had some idea of how our mealtimes 'should' look. Eventually I accepted our differences and we are much happier doing what works for our family - the only missing piece is getting the dishes fully done each day. DH is very athletic and trains 2-4 hours every day. He eats big meals, particularly in the evening when he needs to refuel. DD is very overweight and she cooks her own meals - she is a night owl so eats later in the evening. I have many food allergies and gut problems - my diet is very restricted and i have to have a separate set of cooking implements. I am an early bird ( as evidenced by the fact I'm writing this at 3.45am - have been up about an hour) and like to eat early. Often parts of my meal might be shared with the others & we use the freezer a lot. I guess I am writing this as it does help explain the huge amount of dishes we go through & it reminds me that everyones situation is different. why I want the habit - when I walk out into the kitchen in the morning it does have an impact straight away on how I feel if dishes are done or not done. I want to stop dreading people calling in - they walk straight into my kitchen/dining area and its usually got dishes stacked up. I love the feeling of a clean kitchen! Dishes everywhere and messy kitchen is a reminder of childhood - not good for me. Make the task do-able - OK, I am going to work on the task for 5 - 10 mins at a time over the coming week and post in WITs - with a goal of being fully caught up by next Sunday night. My cheer squad is ready!! (one for each decade!!) and I have just started a gratitude journal yesterday I ruled off a section of my diary to list three things each day I am grateful for & this forum and its members is one of them.
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Post by def6 on Jan 1, 2017 15:35:21 GMT -5
Thank you wynken for getting us off to a good start. When I joined this group, I never had a cleared out sink. But thanks to everyone here, I have developed the habit. I do have a dishwasher that I empty either at night or first thing in the morning so the dishwasher can be used to place the dirty dishes throughout the day. I also wash as I cook, so when I sit down to eat the only plates that need to go in are the ones we are using. I use the "Don't break the chain" method when I do my daily tasks of one load of laundry,one load of dishes, tidy up, clean something and organize something. As long as I keep going with this plan without stopping a day, I can keep doing it. Attachments:
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Post by wynken on Jan 1, 2017 20:04:16 GMT -5
Woohoo Lookat us - We have company Welcome entropy , outfromundah , Louie , def6 , and me wynken .
cheersquad
Thank you for sharing your stories.
entropy shares a great 10 minute plan. And rinses and repeats on occassion. It sounds good.
outfromundah - on finding a level of maintenance. I used have boom bust marathon cycles too, before I started the first dish washer group years ago. I used cart everything out to the veranda table, a tub to washup in, and towels to cover the table to drain the dishes etc on...I'm glad to not have to do that these days.
Louie - You are right, each of our situations is different. Cheering you on as you make progress 5-10 minutes at a time.
def6 - Thank you for sharing your experience, strenght and hope. I like that your daily tasks have a no excuses clause to keep it everyday. When I start making excuses I can make a lot of excuses. Keeping up momentum is so good. Not sure if I can be as diligent as you, but its good to see you find it possible. I'm trying to do it starting with dishes, and adding items like on your list.
my current story is this: I sometimes leave things go 2-3 days now, and can get overwhelmed easily when there is a mishmash of things taking up a lot of space. I've found putting things in a tub (pots and last to wash things) or basin (dishes cups cutlery) on the floor shows me it is quite doable as it isn't like a let them go for a month heap. I guess I'm lucky I don't have small children finding the sharp knives, or a dog doing a prewash support thing. Usually they can be all washed in under 15minutes. Sometimes I make it 2 sessions.
The why I restarted this thread. going back a while I got my knickers in a twist, feeling that I was doing all the supporting, and not feeling supported myself. So I stopped. And I guess I got more disgruntled. Which helped me Not One Bit. It was about more than just previous threads. Soos and elsewhere. I was on a downer.
So this is an attempt to get me back to a spirit of cooperation and maybe even service. To find joy for myself in this most basic of everyday task, and to share the journey with others.
Apologies to cleanbee who was attempting to maintain the old thread alone, without support. I'm sorry I disappeared so much from that thread. You have done so much this past week. I was without my usual internet connection over the Christmas week, but that is no excuse really.
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Post by cleanbee on Jan 1, 2017 20:23:06 GMT -5
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Post by wynken on Jan 1, 2017 22:46:43 GMT -5
I take a long time typing up some posts. i'm hoping o be less verbose. last night it was midnight, and dishes hadn't been washed. I decided on the tiny habit suggestion, and put away things in dish drainer. Today I followed the 10 min in the kitchen suggestion. I did 3 of those, opening new things that needed washing before use, dish washing combined with lunch prep, and finally, after lunch clean up and get them all done. I combined that with singing an odd made up song as I gottumdone. I'm working at celebrating the process. All are draining. I've put dish processing on my daily checklist twice, so hoping that serves to keep things moving. cleanbee
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Post by Louie on Jan 1, 2017 23:09:29 GMT -5
yay for 3 10 min cleaning sessions wynken! I have done 2 10 min cleaning sessions & then fell asleep on the lounge so dishes have been packed into the dishwasher, dishes in the rack were put away and the dishwasher unloaded & put away. I also cleared off a little bit of the bench and have stacked the dishes/trays that still need to be done on the left side of the sink. My plan is to do one more load this evening before I go to bed.
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Post by outfromundah on Jan 2, 2017 4:13:01 GMT -5
Reading through a few other threads and this one, has me thinking. Living with people has so many challenges. When my ex and I were still married, we had different schedules. He is an early bird and I'm a night owl. So, we didn't always eat together.
Basically, if he cooked for himself, he washed his own dishes and cookware. He is a clean-as-you-go guy and never left anything for me to do. If we ate together, regardless of who cooked, the agreement was that we shared in the dishwashing task (one washes, the other dries, or we took turns washing).
The problem was always when I cooked, because I made a huge mess and didn't want to clean up after myself. I can be a real baby like that. And one of the reasons we split up was because my ex felt like he was taking care of a rebellious teenager. My bad housekeeping played a huge part in the end of our marriage. <sigh> But, basically, i don't see how people can live together in harmony at all, if all the housekeeping tasks are piled up on one person (usually the wife or mom). It's simply unreasonable.
But now it's just me, and I am still amazed at how many dirty dishes I can generate for myself. So, I realized I had too many and gave a whole set to the thrift store.
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Post by cleanbee on Jan 2, 2017 6:54:50 GMT -5
Picked up and put away the dog bowls. Cleared dish drainer. I have a dw but I am trying to get back to using what I call my "camping set" - 1 of each: bowl, plate, cup, glass, fork, knife, skillet, small steamer Pot/sauce pAn, cookie sheet. And washing each item by hand immediately After use. It's no more, or prob less work, Than loading and unloading the dw of an entire pantry full of dishes. Thanks for making new thread wynken . I tend not to be very verbose but I can def throw in some cheers and dancing bananas for everyone's efforts, progress, and dish washing maintenance
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Post by Minerva on Jan 2, 2017 11:23:45 GMT -5
Washing up is definitely a big problem for me. Having a pile of dirty washing up waiting to be done often puts me off starting other cleaning tasks, because I know that I should really tackle that first. I live alone and I'm not usually at home during the day so I really don't need to wash up everyday. It takes ages for my water to heat up, so washing a small number of things is a big waste of water. So, my aim isn't to wash up everyday, but to wash up every time I have a bowlful of stuff to do. That would probably be twice a week for me, and an extra time if I do some kind of baking project.
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Post by wynken on Jan 2, 2017 20:02:56 GMT -5
I'm glad you dropped in Minerva. Welcome. Its good to have a plan isn't it. Let us know how it works out in practice. Some options for readers to consider, accept or reject. - Part of flylady's plan was to put the 'waiting' items in a bucket under the sink, so they were out of the way. - Personally - I opted for a basin on the counter, and when it was full, wash them plan, when I was doing it her way (cleared sink at all times). (Dirty things under the sink seemed too much like out of sight out of mind for me.) - My Mother does this - uses an ice cream container to wash up the few things she uses, using the kettle (hot water left over from a cuppa) so as not to use much water, or need to put on hot water system. - When I lived in a share house where the landlord rented out the rooms, and lived in the other half of the large home, we were told the rule was that everyone was to wash up all their own dishes as soon as they finished eating. It worked that way in that setting. I've added dishes to my list with every meal - trialling that. It seems that emptying the dish drainer helps, then I wash up x2 dishes after the next meal. That is my current plan. Trying to remember to sing a happy song at some stage of the process to keep on my happier self's side.
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Post by wynken on Jan 2, 2017 20:08:39 GMT -5
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Post by cleanbee on Jan 2, 2017 22:35:26 GMT -5
Good tips wynken ! Minerva figuring out what works best for you is key. Sounds like you have a good plan for your dishes we just gotta keep at it. My k is Pretty much tidied up for the evening, just need to put leftovers away, put one bowl to soak, and do a final quick swipe of surfaces. And oh yeah, need to clear the dish drainer. All of which should take less than 2 mins. I can do this. ETA: did it.
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