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Post by dustylady on Mar 18, 2017 23:30:55 GMT -5
Ooops, that section is called Squalor Board. Sorry.
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Post by Di on Mar 19, 2017 0:04:55 GMT -5
Am I the only one who forgets trash day and chases down the truck while wearing pajamas and flip flops? (Try NOT to visualize it. It's not a pretty sight.)
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Post by phoenixcat on Mar 19, 2017 8:20:25 GMT -5
Di - I can visualize it almost exactly DH did the same thing. I still get the giggles thinking of him running down the street in his shorts pushing that container in front of him with one arm in the air, yelling "wait wait wait".
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Post by hannah on Mar 19, 2017 10:47:05 GMT -5
Am I the only one who forgets trash day and chases down the truck while wearing pajamas and flip flops? (Try NOT to visualize it. It's not a pretty sight.) I have walked across the street and stood in front of the neighbor's house, waiting for the truck to come by as it picks up on their side of the street. Personally, I'm good with PJs and flip flops as long as I'm wearing a bra. I don't feel that I'm dressed for public consumption without a bra.
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Post by shellsncheese on Mar 19, 2017 11:14:44 GMT -5
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Post by disheveled on Mar 19, 2017 11:37:27 GMT -5
Well the past couple days have been pretty bad days. I will try to garner some energy to write later today but I'm not sure.
Thanks for asking about me and stuff. You guys are so nice:)
Thanks also for posting so much good advice. I will re-read it all when my head is in a bit better place.
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Post by shellsncheese on Mar 19, 2017 11:41:39 GMT -5
Hang in there. Sometimes just waking up is all you can handle and that is enough. You'll get through it.
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Post by dustylady on Mar 19, 2017 11:52:40 GMT -5
My son's in charge of trash. He's autistic, so he checks, several times, to make sure the cans are spaced evenly, the same number of inches apart. It's hilarious.
The city makes us use those big green cans, I think he prefers it that way. It's a lot easier to achieve uniformity than when he just had a pile of trash bags.
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Post by creativechaos on Mar 19, 2017 11:54:04 GMT -5
welcome, disheveled. i could have written your intro; so many of us could have. people have given so many good tips, pointers, advice, and stuff they know from experience. i would just say come on in and find a thread you can relate to, and start posting ANY successes you have, no matter how tiny! like getting those trash bags ready to go - you know what bothers you most - the concretized litter and the cat poo. dealing with that would make you feel so much better about yourself, and you and your cat would benefit from it. big for cleaning kitty's small litterbox regularly! you need some encouragement. so come on in and let us give it to you. mean neighbors are a beetch - most of us in apartment complexes have at least one. the other day on the mainland, this lady came up to my car and said, "you have a lot of junk in your car!" i retorted, "it's not junk, it's treasures!" (while feeling deep shame at the state of my filthy hoarded car) Then she said, "did you get all that stuff TODAY? 'Cause you have a LOT of stuff." i smiled sweetly and said "and is that your business?" she spluttered and said something about liking stuff too - and then something about "humph" - and how rude i was...and i just kept walking and said, "and, No." (meaning i didn't get it all "today".) part of me didn't CARE what she thought. the other part felt deep shame because hey - my car is a craphole of stuff and filth and therefore i MAKE it other people's business to judge me, comment, show facial disgust - all of it. i'm used to that. all i can say is, the shame or guilt i feel about it is one thing - and impetus to clean up (and the car is way better than it has been when i garden and have all my tools in there too!). Taking on someone else's judgment of me - even if they're RIGHT - is something i can say NO to... we're hard enough on ourselves as it is, aren't we? i told you this story to say, yeah, there are mean nosey people who judge your insides by something they see or project on your outside. they are EVERYWHERE - moving to a new apartment may not exempt you from them! you are MORE than this mess! please remember that, hang onto that, and dispense as much as you can with the shame and self beat-up. we all beat ourselves up - i know i do! and thankfully, we all help each other not stay in that destructive space. you are not alone. we are here for you; we are your tribe. we are "home." big hugs - i/we believe in you. luv, cc
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Post by phoenixcat on Mar 19, 2017 16:06:01 GMT -5
Disheveled! Please stick around and ask us anything and let us support you in everything. We aren't on this site because we are Martha Stewart juniors. On some level and in some way - we have all been where you are. I can't even tell you what my 6+ cats did to 30 year old carpet We KNOW what you are dealing with and we can help! It can get better - I promise! PC
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Post by emeraldine on Mar 20, 2017 18:53:37 GMT -5
Disheveled, and welcome to our community! I woke up this morning feeling hellish and hopeless. Too much to do, so little courage to power me through it all. So I came here. I read your story and all the wonderful, wise advice from our members. And now I feel so much better and ready to tackle my long and daunting list. See, Disheveled -- you've been here five minutes and already you've helped someone! Honestly, I think isolation is one of the worst aspects of squalor. That feeling of being so alone can make us dread the new day. When I feel like it's all too much, I come here. Our fellow squalorees give me heart like no one else can. Hope you're feeling better. As for those garbage bags, often it's best not to overthink a task but to go at it with an almighty roar: "GARBAGE, BE GONE!!!" and rush those bags down to the bins as fast as you can. Yeahhhh! Do it! You'll feel pumped!
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Post by gillian on Mar 24, 2017 14:42:32 GMT -5
Welcome to the forum, Dishevelled. I hope you're ok. I don't often come here, but when I do, I read a lot of the very practical advice given by the people here.
Notanotherdecade, I love the video clip of Gayle Goddard - very helpful. I haven't watched all of it as I only have time to watch small sections at a time.
Di, I have done chasing after the refuse lorry too. My youngest son usually puts out the bins the night before they're due for collection, but he has been away this week and I forgot. The lorry was a few houses down the road when I checked, but I decided not to bother this time as there wasn't very much in the bin, due to dh burning a lot of our rubbish. I have a story from my early marriage days. Dh and I were living in a terrace house in Dublin, so no way of getting to the back of the house. One morning I went to put our bin out. I was wearing my dressing gown and trotted out with the bin, only to see the front door - yale lock - close tight behind me. Thankfully someone in another flat heard my frantic bell ringing and came and opened the door. I was so relieved, especially as there was a bus stop just outside our door.
Gillian
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Post by dustylady on Mar 24, 2017 16:00:19 GMT -5
Gillian, here in the U.S. they're called "garbage trucks." I like the UK term better. Saying "I was chasing the refuse lorry in my bathrobe" just sounds better.
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Post by angela on Mar 24, 2017 16:15:29 GMT -5
I don't feel that I'm dressed for public consumption without a bra. Consumption... oh my gosh I don't know what to make of that!
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Post by hiding on Mar 31, 2017 0:23:39 GMT -5
Di - I can visualize it almost exactly DH did the same thing. I still get the giggles thinking of him running down the street in his shorts pushing that container in front of him with one arm in the air, yelling "wait wait wait". Was that in his underwear shorts? If so, that's even better! Reminds me of the time when an ex came in the living room to yell at me about something he wasn't happy about. First of all, he was wearing only Jockey briefs and slippers. That is not the most dignified outfit to wear when exercising one's "authority". It was all I could do to be serious, not burst out laughing, and make him even angrier than he already was. When he was done with his tirade, he did an about face and stiffly stomped down the hall. The thing was that he didn't realize the condition of his briefs. Most of the back was torn out and the torn piece was flapping as he was walking while his flexing buns were clearly visible through the torn section. This was so hilarious that I lost it and had to go outside until I could control my laughter.
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