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Post by findingmyvoice on Apr 2, 2019 5:14:32 GMT -5
Thank you for the kind words! I started working on my finances today. I did my taxe, or at least a rough draft, I have to double check my numbers and enter everything neatly in the tax form and I am paying much less taxes than I usually do. I am so relieved, I didn't know how I was going to pay otherwise. I also canceled several bills (cable, internet, electric, landline phone) that I used to pay for my Mom out of my accounts and that is a savings of $300 per month, sometimes more $. I also spoke with my Mom and she will go to her bank and add my name to her bank account. Her rent can now be deducted out of her Social Security check. Things are starting to look up!
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Post by larataylor on Apr 2, 2019 8:24:34 GMT -5
findingmyvoice - yay for getting finances in order. That's so important for your peace of mind.
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Post by TML on Apr 2, 2019 18:37:23 GMT -5
In my state Mom can use $50.00 of her money for spending money each month. You can check with your state. Make sure the place you are dealing with does the forms for assistance if youR Mom is on govt assistance else you will have to keep the paperwork and file an update each year. I pay Moms extra cable and etc.
The main one to look out for is if she is hospitalized. When Mom goes to the hospital, I have to pay using her money or mine for her room to be held as the state will only pay for one place at a time in my state. Otherwise things work out fairly well. I am glad life is getting better for you and you may find you now have a chance to take care of yourself.
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Post by findingmyvoice on Apr 3, 2019 7:13:02 GMT -5
In Massachusetts, you are allowed to keep $75 for personal use out of your social security. So that is another savings for me. I am just so happy not to be endlessly spending! I am a long way from being financially solvent again but I am on my way. Before the big crisis, I was trying desperately to please the landlord and the Board of Health to keep my mother in her apartment. I spent quite a bit of money hiring cleaning companies and rug cleaning companies to get her place up to code. It didn't work!! The cleaners did not move furniture or other items and the dog's urine seeped underneath many things. I found this out once furniture moved out of the apartment and I had several horrible messes to clean up.
I went to my eye doctor yesterday and got a good report. I put this appointment off because I was afraid that I was ruining my eyes after the surgeries. I did all the things I was told not to do. I bent over (to pack) and I lifted heavy objects. I was terrified of infection because of cleaning up so often after the dog. It all had to be done and there was no one else to do it. Luckily everything is still going great!
I am hoping that I will be getting rid of my mom's old car. It is a 1982 Oldsmobile and still running. I have a junkyard that may take it today. I have my fingers crossed. I have tried to give it away five times already so we will see.
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Post by PerrinJade on Apr 5, 2019 23:02:31 GMT -5
I just saw this thread. findingmyvoice, I'm so glad things worked out in the end for your mom and you. I can't imagine how distressing that must've been. I worry so much about the possibility that many years from now, if I don't develop *strong* good habits, I may end up in a situation similar to your mom's. I hope things continue to look up for both of you.
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Post by notanotherdecade on Apr 5, 2019 23:59:34 GMT -5
Wow, mission accomplished 🤩 that's an amazing ahievement ! findingmyvoice is Superwoman in disguise 💪 Rest, reenergize, and know you can achieve the same for yourself,
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Post by creativechaos on Apr 6, 2019 23:56:43 GMT -5
findingmyvoice - you are an inspiration in so many ways! you did some EPIC tasks - all with a good heart, never losing that. i am so glad you checked into finances and that some of that huge expense will be coming back to you in savings. i think it's pretty amazing that you have kept your dm's well being and safety first and foremost; and you certainly had cause to resent and complain about the situation you had to face. dealing with a hoarder parent is so difficult; how traumatic it must've all been for you to be hit with all of this, yet you kept your focus on her welfare and doing what you had to do - even at the expense of your own welfare. you rolled up your sleeves, got to work, and did the impossible. i would read your blog if you started one. Your loving heart and inner strength have shined through everything you have done. i hope that for you, things just keep getting better and better now. it's your turn now to shine and i'm glad you can look forward now to more time and attention for yourself and your own needs. Good for you for going to eye doctor - i'm so glad that what you had to do didn't ruin your eyes. i must agree with notanotherdecade - in my view, you're a superhero. may blessings rain down on you a thousandfold. thank you for updating us! re: finances; if mom is on gov't assistance, what happens if she should have to be hospitalized for any reason? be sure to protect yourself against any seizure of her bank account or any liability you would have by having your name on the account; not that i'm sure how to do that but it'd be worth knowing. re: mom's old car; did you check this Car Talk donation program where they will take old "junkers?" a 1980s car is a classic car - if it runs, i would think it'd be valuable to someone - especially if you are in Massachussetts - isn't that Car Talk's "home state?" but it looks like donations are accepted from most any state - check it out, they have a toll free number. they might know of other ways to donate the car too - then you can write it off as a charitable donation - win-win. www.cartalk.com/vehicledonation/
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Post by LivinginGratitude on Apr 21, 2019 0:06:05 GMT -5
Yes, this isn't your issue, it is the landlord's issue for letting the buildup get so bad and she doesn't want to pay so she is harrassing you and making you feel like you have to do all of the work to fix it. Your mother is sick and wasn't able to care for herself or her home properly, the annual inspection is to let the landlord find out what is going on, she should have moved more quickly if the situation was getting out of control and done the proper process to protect her property. I think you should say I am terribly sorry and walk away and block her number. Get a restraining order and/or file a civil suit if the harrassment goes on. I guess Judge Judy would say its her freedom of speech to call and inform your employer of whatever she wants if its true, as long as she doesn't do it over and over, and its good that your employer is a reasonable person! Thank God for that!
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Post by maryaz on Apr 28, 2019 17:48:40 GMT -5
Oh boy can I relate, having just emptied nearly 3,000 sq ft of my moms place. Now I have to work on getting my place back in order! So glad you are finding support and your boss is doing good for you. I'm with you, take the best, the sentimental, photos and what not and trash the rest! Unless it is some really cool vintage peice that might be worth money!
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Post by creativechaos on May 21, 2019 10:36:06 GMT -5
just checking in to see how you are doing... i'll look to see if you started a blog somewhere else on the board. i hope you are doing ok and are just very busy. thinking of you and sending hugs.
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Post by hopewanted on Jul 11, 2019 23:51:48 GMT -5
Wow! Despite some significant difference in the parental situation, we have so much in common! You're an inspiration for sure and I'm happy you're gotten through it. Hopefully one day, I can say the same.
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