clutterbye
New Member
Joined: October 2009
Posts: 16
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Post by clutterbye on Oct 18, 2009 20:29:09 GMT -5
Somewhere on the site I thought I read the definitions of the degrees of squalor...trying to "find" myself.  Can someone help? I am new new. |
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Post by CourageouslyLion SeeksSerenity on Oct 18, 2009 20:54:04 GMT -5
- Somewhere on the site I thought I read the definitions of the degrees of squalor...trying to "find" myself. Can someone help? I am new new. Hi ! The "degrees of squalor" are here: www.squalorsurvivors.com/squalor/measuring.shtmlIgnore the first few paragraphs. Scroll down to where it says "First Degree Squalor" and start reading there. That's the "Squalor Survivors Scale" which we usually use here. Some people use the other scales, too. But generally, if you here someone here referring to a "level", it's from the "Squalor Survivors Scale". Members here are at any/all of the degrees. REMEMBER: You are NOT your level of squalor. The level is simply a means for describing the level of mess in your home. But it isn't YOU. --------------------- |
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Post by Rory on Nov 27, 2009 20:03:19 GMT -5
What an inspiring post Lioness.
Thank you
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Post by threeg on Dec 12, 2009 9:03:42 GMT -5
Is it possible to access before and after photos posted on the old board?
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Post by mrsmess on Mar 20, 2010 6:18:36 GMT -5
Wow thank you so much for writing that list of squalorous mind traps....I felt like I was reading a list that describes me perfectly...I think I need to print that out and read it each day.
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Post by hurtnbroke on Mar 26, 2010 14:15:06 GMT -5
Logged on today (a rarity for me unfortunately) and read some of this excellent thread so I'll add a thought or two. I definitely know about judgmentalism since I live in a very small town. I guess the thing is the reason(s) why "they" judge those in squalor. A lot of it is pure meaness and cruelty but there are some who want to initiate accountability. Some simply do not want to live next door to a mess.  Others are involed in rescue efforts. Also as mentioned some crave that feeling that "at least I'm not as bad as them". As for me I'm still in level three and definitely not happy about it but whenever I get a rare burst of energy I sort/organize. Been doing fairly good lately but I have a long, long, looooooong ways to go. Come on warm dry weather! I did not read all the posts but so far one excuse/reason for home squalor I did not see was medical problems/loss of mobility. Perhaps someone did include this but I just missed it. It is miserable to have the strong desire to desqualor but not the strength or stamina or ability. Those who live alone and those without utilities and/or in extremely substandard housing know what I mean. I do not consider this to be a "mind trap" but rather a "situation trap". Obviously both traps can exist in a person or persons. I try to never judge others regarding their squalor because I always have my own sqaulor waiting for me at home to accuse me. It's a "He without sin cast the first stone" situation. However I do not accept squalor as ever being a healthy thing or acceptable or ever okay or something to be overlooked because I personally know how it demoralizes and isolates and seriously harms those living in it. It is so intensely limiting and hurtful that it should be considered a major disabling condition. Basically as we all know (or should know) squalor destroys and does so on all levels of a person or person's life. I continue to work towards that beautiful day when I am squalor free and can answer a knock at the door or invite someone over to talk or share a meal. Ohhhhhh Happy Day that will be! Be Blessed! |
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Post by mrsmess on Mar 31, 2010 3:27:44 GMT -5
I do not consider this to be a "mind trap" but rather a "situation trap". Obviously both traps can exist in a person or persons. This is so true! We did not have this amount of space till just over 2 years ago. As I explained in byways, we lived in cramped quarters upstairs for twenty years. Consequently lack of space combined with depression about my circumstances led to us living in 2nd degree squalor. I remember once my mother in law very cruelly remarked that it wouldn't make any difference if we had more space, because I would just mess that up too. Well she was wrong because although I am still dealing with mess, it is mainly 1st degree....it is way tidier now that I have a lot more space, and I have more energy as I am not depressed to that degree anymore. Depression is immobilising too and is a definite roadblock. |
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Post by def6 on Jul 7, 2010 19:06:12 GMT -5
Thank you Lion, This is a wonderful post.
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kathbrant
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Joined: July 2010
Posts: 19
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Post by kathbrant on Jul 11, 2010 18:31:57 GMT -5
I guess, I am still at the point of wondering why any of us can live in squalor. No matter the level. If I never figure it out, I am looking forward to some freedom with your help.
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Post by usedtobeneat on Jul 25, 2010 23:23:04 GMT -5
I just read the page that describes the levels and I'm at level 3. I noticed that it said animal poop and pee and rotting food are the rule and not the exception and it makes me wonder if most people who do have squalor have pets. I've seen a lot of pets on hoarders, but now I'm wondering if most of us have that in common.
Mary
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yeshanu
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Joined: October 2009
Posts: 38
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Post by yeshanu on Aug 3, 2010 11:26:21 GMT -5
I know for me that having two sick cats around the house certainly made the squalor worse. I went from a Level 2 to a high Level 3 in very short order, and only recovered from that because I told my daughter I wouldn't get another cat until the mess from the former cats was cleared up. So she helped me do it, including tearing out the carpetting and painting the soiled sub-floor, etc. I have noticed that pets and small children tend to worsen squalor, as they can't help but make a mess and they can't clean up themselves.
But as to cause, I have to say that I need to take responsibility for my own living quarters. If I can't clean up after my pets, I should have fewer pets, and if I can't clean up after my children, I need to teach them to clean themselves, and get help from others.
cricket, I think you and hub made the right decision for you, and it does sound like you've got things pretty much under control. Maybe when the kids are old enough to look after themselves, you can go back to having a critter.
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willette
New Member
Joined: August 2010
Posts: 65
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Post by willette on Aug 30, 2010 11:25:57 GMT -5
Would you mind if read this as a Devotional at my Support group I attend? This is a message everyone needs to hear.
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Post by MakingChanges on Sept 10, 2010 20:45:45 GMT -5
Lionness -
Thank you.
I love you for posting that.
I'm learning. You're helping.
Thanks -
MakingChanges
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Post by creativechaos on Sept 20, 2010 3:22:18 GMT -5
dear lioness,
i am so grateful for this thread and your opening post, which is always excellent reading and gives lots to ponder. whenever i get downhearted or despairing. i come onto this thread to gain strength, hope, and the willingness to try again when i slide downhill and let squalor get bad. your words help ease the shame that i let myself get to squalor again, or don't seem to stay out of squalor for long. your words remind me that i belong here no matter what my level of squalor.
i'm not sure that i agree with the person on here who said that all squalorers are clutterers. i think some people just have squalorous tendencies and don't necessarily collect or buy clutter.
i had tried a couple hoarding groups and kept feeling like a failure because not only did i have trouble getting rid of anything, but my place was/is always a mess. then i googled the word 'squalor' and found the old ss site. finally, i had found the missing piece. i am not only a hoarder, i'm a squalorer. it's what i found HERE in ss and soos that finally helped me get someplace and keep my place more together. maintenance was the missing key. here i could do chat challenges or listzilla and work along with others with this squaloring tendency. i know i've had this lifelong to squalorize for most of my life, and this thread helps me to see that i needn't beat myself up for being what i am. rather, it's time to just start again with dedication and consistency.clean. sort. purge. organize. i needed these words of yours tonight, lioness.
luv, cc
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Post by heretoday on Oct 23, 2010 7:34:10 GMT -5
This sure is a good thread. I go back and forth between 1st degree and 3rd - do big cleanups in between I guess. Since I am getting a settlement from a car accident soon I can pay my friend's daughter to help me here sometimes. Due to financial problems with working part time I just took a full time position on the night shift, not looking forward to it at all and am worried that my cleaning (what there is of it) will fall behind again like it did last year when I was on graveyard for 3 months. I felt like I had the flu the whole time. Anyway this house has sure been better the last 6 or 8 months than its been in ages thanks to the support I have had on this board and especially the chat room. But I know people can be judgemental, I had problems with a cat sitter who quit on me when I was down in Montana for a trip. She sent me a text message that she was quitting then reported me to the spca who were leaving messages about legal action. Luckily my daughter agreed to take over. When I got back it was not a big deal, the spca came the next morning and was not even here 5 minutes and said she would close the file. Yes I did some cleaning the night before. Anyway the petsitter should have seen the last house I lived in up in the area where the addicts hang out - wanted to move and even had boxes full of stuff stacked in the living room the whole time we lived there not to mention the kitchen which also had stuff stacked up.
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