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Post by gottaproblem on Apr 14, 2009 10:58:28 GMT -5
Messyshell, Sorry that you feel down. Recharge! I unfortunately only have myself to blame now for things not getting better. Others helped with the original problem, but they are gone and the horrible squalor remains. Lilith, Thank you for sharing the link and your ideas. I only got back to the board yesterday and am looking for a kick in the rear to get me going again.
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Post by dayeanu on Apr 14, 2009 11:57:46 GMT -5
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Post by AnnieOkie on Apr 14, 2009 12:28:03 GMT -5
Some words of encouragement for you, Shell. "If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again." ~Flavia Weedn "I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders." ~Jewish Proverb "When it is dark enough, you can see the stars." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Post by houseworkhater on Apr 14, 2009 12:30:12 GMT -5
I hear you, Shell, and I wish I had advice, but I am in the same boat. Hang in and don't stop posting!
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Post by megtreb on Apr 14, 2009 12:48:05 GMT -5
Messyshell,
I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. I can understand your feelings. I think everyone has offered you good suggestions, I will only add one more. Have you considered family counseling? I think you are trying to fight a battle without a map here, and you would really benefit from expert help. I know it might be hard to get everyone to go, and I don't know if you can afford it, but it is worth thinking about. If I were in your situation (I have a messy husband, but no children), it is what I would do.
I wish you much better days ahead.
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Post by Lucky Laura Loving Life on Apr 14, 2009 13:41:02 GMT -5
Shellby, We miss you and care about you ! Sorry again about the family making you so frustrated. Please don't stay away even if you do nothing at home. Have a chat and a cuppa Maybe one of the many suggestions will help or not. You still have friends and have invested your time love and energy here with all of us who truly appreciate your many gifts and talents. Love,Laura
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Post by Ican on Apr 14, 2009 13:49:37 GMT -5
Shell, I hope you don't go. I would miss you if you left. I'm sorry that you are feeling so frustrated. If you take a break, I hope it will just be for a few days, and then you'll come back. Please? Even if you just read and lurk for a while, please don't go away. We care about you here. Sending you a hug and best wishes:
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Post by Script on Apr 14, 2009 14:22:03 GMT -5
A long time ago, I read somewhere that it is sooooo difficult, almost impossible, to motivate some kids to do things around the house. Kids by their very nature do not naturally SEE that things need to be done. Alas...... Take a break, dear Shell, and come back when things LOOK DIFFERENT to you. Others here have contributed some great advice..... luv from Script xxoo
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victoriaj
New Member
Joined: July 2008
Posts: 58
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Post by victoriaj on Apr 14, 2009 15:52:47 GMT -5
I'm finding it difficult to know what to say. I have lots of opinions - I always do - but I'm not sure they join together. I really hope that you can get through this. That you will get up one morning and feel able to fight again. I don't think it has to matter whether your family care. You care. They care about you. They can learn to care about a situation that is making you feel this bad. (Maybe you should print out your post and show it to them, I don't know you but I can feel the pain in it). I don't think you should feel bad because you can't do it now. You need to recharge, you need to make some other changes. I'm pretty sure your work did make a difference. Maybe not as much as you deserve but a difference. I'm pretty sure that a break may be needed now, but stopping and giving into the squallor won't feel good either. I think it would be good to look at your life to see what else needs work. To check out whether you're depressed, or whether there's help you can get for you and the family. Please don't stay away even if you do nothing at home. Have a chat and a cuppa I think this is the best advice. I;m still new - but I really hope I can still get support here when it isn't going well. Like many of us I have good times and bad, and I'm not planning on going away (having found you all) when I can't post anything positive. Hugs Victoria J
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Post by slothzilla on Apr 14, 2009 17:48:49 GMT -5
Shell, good luck and hang in there, kiddo. Relax and get your mind off housework for awhile. I hope that your family realizes how much that their behavior is upsetting you, and that you feel better soon.
I know that it must be tough, I have never been in your situation. When I was a kid, I was completely oblivious to how hard my mom worked to keep our house clean. Now that I am older I absolutely appreciate it, but as a youngster it was just not on my radar.
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Post by valor on Apr 14, 2009 17:58:36 GMT -5
Hi Shell, thinking of you. Your kindness, caring, and friendly nature have shone through in your posts on this board. I am wanting to send some of that back to you. May your load be lightened and your spirit lifted
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Post by zinnia on Apr 14, 2009 19:49:49 GMT -5
Hugs to you. Things will get better- sometimes you just need a little break.
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Post by creativechaos on Apr 14, 2009 20:18:28 GMT -5
hi shell, just want you to know that we will be here for you, are here for you, and it doesn't matter how long of a break you need. you have friends here, friends who care about YOU. so take what time you need and please do stay, lurk, read, chat, write songs and limericks on the byways threads, just stay here, even if you are on your lips and can't do it anymore. we see you not your squalor. i cannot imagine how difficult it must be to face what you do every day. i go insane just trying to keep myself in check, and fail most of the time. (personally, i'm hoping to see ccl come and be "nanny"!) whip that family right into shape! YES! come onto chat and have a "b" session with us. message any one of us anytime. please keep us close to you and may our love bring you strength. you don't have to be alone in this. hugs and luv, cc
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Post by threeg on Apr 14, 2009 21:49:19 GMT -5
Messyshell I understand exactly how you are feeling right now. It is overwhelming enough to battle squalor, but when you're battling squalor AND your own family to boot, it seems hopeless. The only advice I have for you is to keep on keeping on. Take a break, then start anew once you feel stronger. As General Mac Arthur once said..."Never Never Never give up." We are here for you. 3g
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Post by messyang on Apr 14, 2009 22:40:27 GMT -5
MessyShell, I UNDERSTAND your frustration. As a teacher, I got Spring Break off last week, and promised myself that I would get a hold on my house! The only room that is still a level 0 is the laundry room. My kids set things down after they use them (glasses, q-tips, anything!). They spill things and half wipe them up, swearing that they cleaned the mess. I am exhausted too, and feel like they don't appreciate anything. But like everyone says, you CANNOT give up! Things get better. We will survive. Keep at your kids, and I will keep at mine...they will come along. I am always reminded about the moms I have read in the news who went on "strike". One sat in a tree, attracting all sorts of news cameras. I think many moms feel this way. God bless you...we will make it!!
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