hopehope
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,815 
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Post by hopehope on Jun 15, 2010 0:15:26 GMT -5
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Post by hurricaneheather on Jun 15, 2010 0:29:43 GMT -5
Thank you for reminding me that not addressing health issues leads to inability to de-squalor. I've been putting off making a Dr.'s appointment that I know will lead to proper medication, less pain, and more productivity.
I'll put "Call Doc's office" on my WIT's list for tomorrow ...
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Post by Rory on Jun 15, 2010 3:06:56 GMT -5
Thanks to the mods for the comprehensive post which I'll keep reading to remind myself of why I need to be here.
The is an English saying 'As happy as a pig in the proverbial'. This is the modified version. In fact pigs are very clean animals and the only reason they live in dirt is because of the conditions they are sometimes kept in. They are not happy in these conditions and neither am I.
A friend pointed out to me that I am often ill. I am in a state of denial about this and have an appointment with the doctor next week.
Thank you Rory
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Post by moggyfan on Jun 15, 2010 7:15:28 GMT -5
Bravo, mods. And, may I add, totally in the best spirit of pigpen & Squalor Survivors. You get a  from this old teacher. |
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Post by messimo on Jun 15, 2010 7:36:40 GMT -5
Thank you, moderators! Those are really great reminders. I'll need to re-read the post often to keep myself on track.
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Post by dtesposito on Jun 15, 2010 7:45:12 GMT -5
Excellent post, definitely one to print out and reread as a reminder every few weeks.
The "sabotage point" that jumps out at me personally is the one that says we overanalyze why we are hoarders. It reminds me of myself when I was trying to lose weight--as someone who is interested in psychology I was constantly trying to figure out why I overate. In the end I realized that to figure that out it would take my entire lifetime, and it DIDN"T MATTER WHY--what mattered was going through the mechanics of fixing the weight--fewer calories in, more expended. Of COURSE, it was way harder to do that because of whatever psychological reasons there were that made me want to eat--but in the end the only way I lost any weight was to concentrate on those mechanics instead of trying to untangle some hidden cause.
When I started to attack the hoarding I had to do the same thing. Mechanics--there are X number of square feet in this apartment, I have to reduce stuff to a number of square feet that can be in here. For the average person out there that simple equation can be accomodated in a day--for me it's taking years--because of whatever psychological stuff that makes me want to keep it. But, the point is that I had to attack the problem practically, by setting up schedules of doing things and forcing myself into new habits.
I sometimes wonder why I hoard, but I no longer believe that finding out the hidden cause is going to be the answer to making me stop. Forming new habits (by working hard at them every day) is the only thing that will help me to stop.
I also love the reminder in this post that you actually have to CLEAN. It's SO easy to get wrapped up in the social aspect of this site, since it's such a pleasure to find other wonderful people who understand what you're going through. In the end, we have to spend time away from the computer screen filling up those trash bags.
Thank you for this post, it pretty much distills everything important to know about hoarding into one page!
Diane
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Post by blossoming on Jun 15, 2010 14:15:08 GMT -5
yep. nifty!
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Post by def6 on Jun 15, 2010 16:38:19 GMT -5
I hate to be a nay-say-er but, Nay! I think it would be very difficult to encapsulate what "WE" stand for as a group. "WE" are a very diverse group yet "We" are all the same....for whatever reason our houses were/are/might- be- again messie. Let us not throw away what we have all discovered through this board the things that have brought us out of our squalor including humor, compassion, and companionship. There ya go.
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Post by mellowyellow on Jun 15, 2010 21:26:28 GMT -5
You see... a perfect example how something can be right in front of my nose and I don't notice. Thanks Hopey for pointing out that there IS something new to read. I hadn't realized it was there.  |
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Post by disorganizeddragon on Jun 15, 2010 22:21:22 GMT -5
I hate to be a nay-say-er but, Nay! I think it would be very difficult to encapsulate what "WE" stand for as a group. "WE" are a very diverse group yet "We" are all the same....for whatever reason our houses were/are/might- be- again messie. Let us not throw away what we have all discovered through this board the things that have brought us out of our squalor including humor, compassion, and companionship. There ya go. No, I don't think it's difficult to see what we stand for as a group. Look at the name of this board: Stepping Out of Squalor. Those who have come to this board supposedly all want the same thing--to be free of the stuff and/or squalor in their homes that damages their lives in so many ways. And the mods' post does not suggest we should throw away anything except the clutter or trash that's preventing our homes from being the clean and clutter-free places we wish them to be. They simply want us to recognize the fine line between being supportive and being enabling; the first behavior helps, while the second one harms. Because so many of us have limited our contact with the outside world because of the condition of our homes, the companionship this board offers is a welcome reprieve from the loneliness and depression so many of us feel. However, we need to remember that the primary reason we're here is " first and foremost, to BEAT clutter, hoarding and squalor. We are not here to say that it is okay. We are not here to enable anyone to continue living in trash for the sake of merely feeling good." (quoted from the "Squalor, enabling, and sabotage" thread started by the administrators) Sometimes our desire to be good friends online causes us to say things like, "Oh, you're right, they're wrong, this, that, or the other is okay, don't feel bad," when we should be saying, "You know, we care about you and understand how you feel, but maybe your denial, behavior, etc., is getting in the way of your recovery." Again, to quote from the mods' thread: " Beating squalor takes a confrontation of the condition and the behavior that got us here in the first place. Sometimes this process is itself messy and unpleasant.. . . We also need a reality check every once in a while. Sticking our head in the sand, ignoring the very real harm squalor causes, is not only dishonest, it cuts out critical motivation to clean it up." The companionship we get from this board is great, but it should be secondary to getting the support, encouragement, and occasional kick-in-the-a** all of us may need to get our homes and lives in order. Once we accomplish that, we will each feel better about ourselves and not only be able to go out into the world with more confidence, but be able to bring the world--or at least family and friends--into our homes with confidence. |
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Post by AnnieOkie on Jun 16, 2010 11:12:52 GMT -5
Thanks so much for the reminder. It is so important for us to never forget that this is a daily battle and we cannot let our guards down.
I have become way too complacent lately and needed to hear these things.
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hopehope
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,815
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Post by hopehope on Jun 16, 2010 14:56:52 GMT -5
thanks, mellow. you're a dear.
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Post by Peach on Jun 16, 2010 15:04:59 GMT -5
You see... a perfect example how something can be right in front of my nose and I don't notice. Thanks Hopey for pointing out that there IS something new to read. I hadn't realized it was there. Same here -- I didn't "see" the new thread on top. So used to looking a bit lower on the screen. Thanks Hopey  . A request: Could you put a link to the enabler thread in your initial post, please? I had no idea what you were referring to at first - until I went looking. Once this thread gets buried later, it would make it easier to newcomers to connect this thread with that one. |
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Post by mafixit on Jun 16, 2010 15:11:08 GMT -5
I needed to read that, I keep putting things off to the point that it's hurting me financially.. had several unauthorized transactions on my bank card a few months ago, I reported it to the bank and all was well until I ignored to fill out the affidavit they sent me and all that money that I did not authorize or spend, got taken out of my account again. I spoke to a gentleman at the bank who seemed to have little patience for my excuses. the whole thing was so embarrassing and financially painful, just now I got around to filling out the form they requested, I'm still out of my money and bank fees.  I will keep reading the Moderator's post until it sinks in, I need to be proactive. My family deserves better. hopehope- thank you so much for starting this thread and giving me a place to come clean. |
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Post by shopgirl on Jun 16, 2010 15:16:20 GMT -5
I say this with respect, but I'm not understanding the original post by the mods. I've never seen anyone here "enabling" someone to just sit back and do nothing about their living conditions. From what I've seen, "Grab a trash bag and spend 15 minutes filling it" has almost become a mantra here!
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