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Post by dayeanu on Dec 11, 2008 22:35:34 GMT -5
I am a hoarder. 1st class. I do not believe his hoarding issues are your biggest problem here. I believe he is a control freak, and that is where your problems are coming from. IMHO, being nice to a control freak doesn't work; they just see it as weakness on your part. Since your debt seems to be bills incurred from his stuff in storage, here's what I think I might do. Tell him he has x days to get his stuff out. What he hasn't moved by then, you are selling to pay off some of his old storage debts. Then stick with your guns and do it. But be careful. If he really is that much of a control freak, he could get violent. I don't know him, but I do have a little experience. (a little more than I wish I had.)
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Post by dayeanu on Dec 11, 2008 22:59:28 GMT -5
OOps. Well, I was just a few months late with my comment, somehow I missed pages 2-4! Anyway, I'm glad it's all going well for you. I've gone back and read every comment posted here, and as a hoarder myself, I have to say two things. 1.) I'm not a first class hoarder, after all. Just thought I was. 2.) reading this had made ME not want anything to do with flea markets, bargain shops, yard sales or e-bay! Or junk.
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Post by dayeanu on Dec 12, 2008 14:08:25 GMT -5
I have to say, as a hoarder up to my elbows in clutter and mess, this may be the most jarring thread I have read. While I am not to the level of your poor tormented ex, I don't ever want to be. Reading it caused me to see just how serious it could get. It's almost as if his stuff is his god, and he it's slave. Ruining his life, hurting his child (and you) just for stuff. It really has opened my eyes to see my own situation in a new light. After reading it, I REALLY don't want another thing, not a bargain, not a gift, not nothing. I don't want to stop at another yard sale, no bargain stores, nothing. In the past, I have always been a little hurt at special occasions, because while I give a lot to everyone else in the family, no one ever does much for me. After reading this post, this holiday all I want is for them to give a chicken to Heifer International. Last night I had been so sleepy and just ready to drop in bed, but after reading all of your story, I got up and threw away and cleaned like there was a monster at my heels. Thank you so much for sharing.
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