cali
New Member
tip toeing along
Joined: April 2015
Posts: 14
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Post by cali on May 4, 2015 11:39:36 GMT -5
I'll be honest I was very nervous about posting all that as I know not everyones comfortable with my situation (for want of a better word), I shouldve had more faith in all of you. I really do appreciate all advice as I start my journey towards maintainence & still can't believe how helpful & welcoming you've all been! Thanks again & I wish you every success in all you do x
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Post by angela on May 4, 2015 14:44:57 GMT -5
I'll be honest I was very nervous about posting all that as I know not everyones comfortable with my situation (for want of a better word), I shouldve had more faith in all of you. I really do appreciate all advice as I start my journey towards maintainence & still can't believe how helpful & welcoming you've all been! Thanks again & I wish you every success in all you do x Well I'm glad you did! Doesn't matter to me one whit what your stuff is for.  I just hold hope for you, as I do for everyone here, that we will find our way into peaceful co-existence with our possessions and our environment, with a balanced measure of maintenance yielding homes that support us physically and emotionally, whatever that means for each of us. I've got activities that are pretty possession heavy and I don't want to give them up. But I do need to find ways for those activities to not prevent me from doing those tasks that are fundamental to healthy living circumstances. I read your intro and I guess I'm posting my reply to you here.  |
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Post by mouseanne on May 6, 2015 18:10:35 GMT -5
 cali! We're all just people, here. With differences and samenesses. Good for you for passing on the things that do not fit/flatter you. ![]() |
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Post by angela on May 6, 2015 21:03:53 GMT -5
mouseanne! Hiya! Where have you been? Lovely to see you post today.
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Post by Emma on Jul 7, 2015 13:07:08 GMT -5
Well I'm glad you did! Doesn't matter to me one whit what your stuff is for. lol I just hold hope for you, as I do for everyone here, that we will find our way into peaceful co-existence with our possessions and our environment, with a balanced measure of maintenance yielding homes that support us physically and emotionally, whatever that means for each of us. I've got activities that are pretty possession heavy and I don't want to give them up. But I do need to find ways for those activities to not prevent me from doing those tasks that are fundamental to healthy living circumstances. I read your intro and I guess I'm posting my reply to you here. :) Angela, I find your words very beautiful. :) |
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Post by angela on Jul 7, 2015 13:34:26 GMT -5
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Post by seashell on Feb 27, 2016 16:58:30 GMT -5
Bumping this thread, as it really resonates with me right now. I have been buying lots of things on Amazon and ebay today--things that relate to my Past Life, which I no longer live, and never will live again, and yet, I continue to hang on to it. I've let go in a lot of ways, but continuing to buy things connected with it makes me feel as if, maybe someday, I'll live that life again . . .
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Post by SetMeFree on Feb 29, 2016 11:54:02 GMT -5
Bumping this thread, as it really resonates with me right now. I have been buying lots of things on Amazon and ebay today--things that relate to my Past Life, which I no longer live, and never will live again, and yet, I continue to hang on to it. I've let go in a lot of ways, but continuing to buy things connected with it makes me feel as if, maybe someday, I'll live that life again . . . (HUGS)for you and for me and for every one of us who knows what this feels like. Clutter is one thing, but holding on to hope is another. I think as long as those things that allow us to dream and hope and wish don't literally get in our way of our day-to-day survival, it's OK to keep them. I can't bear the thought of giving up my aspirations, even if they are only daydreams. |
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Post by seashell on Feb 29, 2016 20:05:35 GMT -5
Thank you, SetMeFree. We need to have hope to hold on to, and we need to have dreams. I think these are sometimes the only things that move us forward: hope and dreams. |
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Post by creativechaos on Mar 1, 2016 23:22:27 GMT -5
One day I realized that many of my dream related items - the flawed beliefs as well as the physical items - were getting in the way of me actually living out my realistic, attainable, CURRENT dreams. One of the ways that helped me learn to make peace with letting go of items is when I gave myself permission to love the part of me who dreamed the dream without beating up the part of me that was unable to make the dream a reality.
I began to realize that the stuff associated with most of my abandoned dreams actually made me feel quite terrible when I looked at it. With help from many wise people on this site, I began to use a different approach to sorting physical stuff. If looking at the item makes me feel bad about myself or causes me to revisit negative experiences, I let that item go. (Trash, donate, gift or sell.) Many items I would never think about until I ran across them looking for something else, but the wave of negative association would always be there...a sadness, pang of guilt, self hatred, failure - these things would become fresh in my mind. As I have gotten further and further down the path of healing, it has become easier and easier to identify items with negative associations and dreams I no longer have, and easier to let go of these items as well as the associated ill-fitting dreams. The space I have created for myself makes me happy. When I clean my rooms and stand back and see how nice they look, I feel pride, happiness, contentment - many of the feelings I was hoping those broken dreams would bring me. Onward wowohwowohwow. Thank you for this, onwardandupward. Powerful and wise words; they really resonate. i WANT this for myself; for us all. |
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Post by itsybitsy on Nov 10, 2016 11:42:31 GMT -5
I have just read through this powerful thread and feel it is so timely for me to consider carefully and try to absorb all the collective wisdom. Timely because I plan to go out Christmas shopping over the next few weeks, where stores are marketing the dreams-really-do-come-true fantasy. Yes, I will buy some things, but I feel vulnerable that I will acquire things I won't use and will start the acquisition-too much stuff-feel bad cycle.
For me, continuing to manage incoming and existing stuff gives me the reason to put off creating and relaxing. I value "work" and don't give myself breathing room. Many times, my friends and colleagues would tell me: "lighten up!"
I do feel more relaxed with simplicity and a clean environment. It makes me happier than more stuff coming in has. Even though I recognize this I still sabotage myself.
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Post by notanotherdecade on Nov 10, 2016 13:25:44 GMT -5
thanks for bringing this thread onto page one.
I've only been on the forum a few months, but it made me stop and think to see now deceased members having homes filled with possessions that would not be relevant to them.
I had a look at what happened to threeg, , she was struggling with her clutter ,, with projects undone, and items no longer relevant to her, when the thread started , and about a year later was terminally ill...,
Most of us will simply age and pass on normally, but who knows? ?
Ive made progress on decluttering, but I'm aware of items I have that are crying out to be put into into us before they become irrelevant.
One is a cushion I've decided to make for my mum, using a sheepskin coat she had when young that she gave to me a couple of years ago.. I need to make this by Christmas, she's not getting any younger, and I don't want to postpone this ..
I've got the first Marie kondo book and whilst her ideas can be a little too idealistic I think that her starting point of carefully considering the lifestyle that you want, and how your home and possessions can facilitate the life you want is relevant to everyone... But it needs to be a realistic vision we have to start with..
Eg I still have quite a few fancy white blouses and jerseys, I went through a phase of buying them from second hand shops, because I loved the look of them, but I am quite a mucky pup and rarely wear them for fear of getting them stained,,,,,. I think I need to rethink my wardrobe once again.
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Post by nonchalant on Nov 10, 2016 19:38:35 GMT -5
It occured to me one day how often I make purchases for a kind of life that I don't actually have. Or a life I wish I had. Or a life I fantasize about maybe having one day. Because sometimes it feels as if things are talismans, like they would somehow make these alternate realities come true. I wonder how much of our clutter, our acquisitions, come from trying to furnish a fantasy. If I bought these beautiful earrings with the silver hooks, then surely I would go out to dinner more. If I bought this artistic little pendant people would admire it at the job I don't have yet. If I get the pendant with the calligraphy on it, then this imaginary dream job is at the library. If I buy this pillow it will look fabulous on the bed I never make. But WOULD make, every single day, if I had this pillow. It will lead to matching paint on the walls and a new bedspread, and a room decor worthy of a magazine. Somehow. I've bought clothes for events I will never go to. And clothes I will never fit into. And clothes for activities I will never participate in. I've purchased yarn for projects I know I won't make, and yarn for projects I want to make but know I will never use. I buy discounted school supplies every fall because I feel a step closer to a higher education I never seem able to pursue. When I was a young teenager I bought a book on raising sheep. Because I honestly thought it was going to be a practical, useful, how-to guide for the life I was going to have. I see now it was only a tangible part of a mirage, an inexpensive piece of an expensive dream that I could hold in my hands. It was the closest to that way of life that this suburban girl was ever going to get. I got rid of the book a long time ago. I've gotten rid of a lot of things, but I keep accumulating more that are just as impractical. Why? Because to let them go is to let go of a dream? To stop buying is to stop dreaming? I have purchased twelve pairs of earrings in the last four months and I don't have pierced ears. I just have this fantasy. In it I'm eating a piece of pie in a riverview restaurant, and I have an inverted tulip dangling from each lobe. I am thin and young and wearing a nice dress. The only part of this I can actually achieve? Yeah. Buying the earrings. As long as they keep showing up in the mailbox, I can keep dreaming. Yes, indeed. It's my story, too, including all the yarn, and then there's the Fountain Pen That Was Going To Change My Life. I think this phenomenon is more common than people realize, even among non-hoarders; they just get rid of it and move on to The Next Thing. Today I was knitting a sock and realized I hate the yarn's properties AND the color. I realized this when I was at the heel. The second sock will not be made. |
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Post by Nael_C on Oct 3, 2017 7:43:28 GMT -5
Wow...Just wow. That is such a profound text with so much food for thought. Thank you for sharing!
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Post by Shamed slob on Dec 18, 2017 18:23:24 GMT -5
I only found this forum by accident. I just want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for the wisdom on these forums.
I suffer from 'its perfectly good's and 'the life I want to live' but I didn't know that before and I do now. It was a revelation that I'm not just stupid and overly attached to possession.
THANK YOU ALL!!!!
Maybe I can get a grip on it now...or more of a grip.
THANKS XXXXX
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