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Post by valor on Jun 9, 2009 16:26:19 GMT -5
Believe me, you're not alone. It sounds wonderful what you've done to help your DH relax when he got home -with his favorite incense to greet him, and fulfilling his request for dinner. I will have to try that for my DSO. Except DSO might think he'd accidentally walked into the wrong house Who among us wouldn't love coming home to one of our favorite scents and what we felt like eating for dinner. Very thoughtful and comforting.
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Post by morningglory on Jun 9, 2009 22:20:53 GMT -5
Thanks, valor! He did appreciate it. Spent most of this evening at the Humane Society, going through volunteer training. One of our boys wanted to volunteer, but if you are under 16, you need a parent with you at all times, so I had to sign up, too. They only allow people over 16 to walk the dogs, but once I get a dog out into the fenced-in area and let it off the leash, he can play with it. He can also play with the cats and small animals. We had fun with a strong yellow lab. She seemed quiet while she was penned up, but once we got her on the leash she almost dragged me along! Anyway, my point is that I didn't do any more desqualoring this evening, but I am looking forward to getting some things done tomorrow (after getting the oil changed, getting one son's eyeglasses adjusted, and taking another son to the movies as an earned treat). I should be posting updates as I progress.
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keriamon
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Joined: June 2009
Posts: 61
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Post by keriamon on Jun 9, 2009 23:29:43 GMT -5
It sounds like you got more done in your living room today than I did. I am in the process of unloading a bookcase. My husband said I could box up his Civil war books, so that freed up about half the case. I started cataloging them on LibraryThing yesterday and finished them off today (there weren't many left). I got them all in boxes and labeled the boxes, but didn't get them to the garage. I have started cataloging some more books, ones we will keep in the house, but my husband and I are at odds over the bookcase. It's a metal unit, really made for using in a garage or work room. My husband hates it. I was planning on painting it to make it look better, but he wants to get rid of it (and that will mean putting it in the garage to use for storage there). He wants to get another faux-wood bookcase like I already have two of in the bedroom. It's about 3/4ths the size of this metal one, which means it won't hold as many books. It's also probably about $45 at Wal-Mart or Target. We're wanting to move, so my thought is to not get a new bookcase now; wait until after we move so we don't have to move three full-size bookcases; my husband's thought is that we should get this metal case out of the house before we put it on the market because it's ugly and would be a detraction. We're both right, but also mutually exclusive, so I'm not sure how this should go down. Me painting it will only make it look a little bit better; it will still look like a metal shelving unit.
I hate to buy one right now because I'm out of work and would rather not spend the money on a new one. We're not woodworkers enough to build one (not to mention that real lumber is outrageously expensive), and I've already checked Craigslist and didn't see anything viable in our area (although I'll keep looking).
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Post by morningglory on Jun 10, 2009 13:52:46 GMT -5
Keriamon, I think second-hand would be a good compromise. Do you have other sources besides Craigslist, like yard sales, Goodwill, etc? If not, how about boxing up the books and storing them and the bookshelf until you move? I'm thinking like this mostly because, if it were me, I wouldn't want to spend the time and effort painting it, especially because it wouldn't totally eliminate the objections! :-)
I haven't worked on the desqualoring today yet, as I did get the oil change, did banking, made phone calls, carpooling, took my son to the movies, just got back and am about to go begin carpooling again. Then there will be dinner to make and so forth. Not sure if I'll get much done in the house today...
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keriamon
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Joined: June 2009
Posts: 61
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Post by keriamon on Jun 10, 2009 14:20:07 GMT -5
Unfortunately, we have too many books that we use to put a whole bookcase worth of them in storage. My husband doesn't use the Civil War books right now, so they can go into storage, but we're triple stacked in some places and there are books in the floor under my DH's bedside table; those all need to be moved to a bookcase of their own.
And, alas, with the economy the way it is now, we may not sell this place for quite some time; too long a period for our best research books to be squirrelled away.
I need to check my bank account; I may be being overly cheap and have more money than I think I have. I'm pretty strict with it.
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Post by morningglory on Jun 10, 2009 15:15:18 GMT -5
I hear you about the books, keriamon! I hope you are able to find a decent and affordable bookcase.
Just got back from picking up my son and spending about half an hour at the playground. I'll have to see about dinner now. Maybe I'll at least get some laundry put away before the day is over.
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Post by morningglory on Jun 10, 2009 20:41:01 GMT -5
Wow. Absolutely crashed out in my armchair after dinner! I needed the rest, so I can't complain too much, but it definitely short-circuited any plans to clean up! Just made dinner, ate, and fell asleep! I did check the kitchen to be sure any perishable food was put away before coming up to bed, but I am done for tonight! Hopefully will get more done tomorrow!
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Post by Meme on Jun 10, 2009 21:45:48 GMT -5
praying for a quiet rest for you. you have done well- hugs from Meme
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Post by morningglory on Jun 11, 2009 16:34:26 GMT -5
Thanks so much, papaswife! I really appreciate your prayers. Thankfully, I did get a good night's sleep and am feeling much less stressed today.
So far, it's been a busy day without any progress in the house. After carpooling, there was an event at school, lunch, then shuttling kids to activities, now about to go shopping and make dinner, then a class in the evening. So another day without much progress...
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Post by morningglory on Jun 12, 2009 11:55:16 GMT -5
I have this sneaking suspicion that the in-laws will somehow cancel at the last minute. Already they have changed their arrival day from Thursday to Friday. They say they are leaving Sunday, and although they haven't given us a time of departure yet, I'm expecting it will be pretty early in the day... I suppose it doesn't matter SO much, as I really need to keep doing this cleaning anyway, for ourselves and for our friends who will be visiting from out of town.
So far things haven't settled down enough to make more real progress. Maintaining dishes and laundry and taking out the trash (all with help from some of the kids), but not tackling any new piles or boxes, as I run around taking kids to various events, etc.
Plus, our oldest son decided to clean a bunch of stuff out of his room overnight and there are now boxes of electronic parts and other items stacked up in the downstairs and the hallway! I appreciate his desire to neaten up, but I don't appreciate that the rest of the house became the dumping ground when I am struggling to clear out the junk that is already there!
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keriamon
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Posts: 61
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Post by keriamon on Jun 12, 2009 12:16:18 GMT -5
Are those parts going to the trash or the Goodwill? If they're going into storage in a basement or other room, then he needs to put them in there straightaway. Tell him he's got until X hour today/tomorrow to move them to their final destination, or you're going to put the whole box out with the trash. It's easier to motivate others than ourselves.
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Post by cando on Jun 12, 2009 13:33:54 GMT -5
Wishing you the best of luck with your in-laws visit, MorningGlory. I had mine last week and it did not go very well. I'm hoping your situation will be better. CD
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packy
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Posts: 56
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Post by packy on Jun 13, 2009 8:58:02 GMT -5
Hi Morningglory,
Your thread caught my eye because I am feeling a countdown to my MIL visit myself. I mentioned in another thread, that last time she visited she "helped-forced" me into cleaning off the desk in my kitchen, which kindof through me into a standstill of progress. The desk looked good when I was done but the turmoil I felt in my stomach ended up stopping me from doing much for the next month or two.
Anyway, she is coming back for a beach trip at the beginning of July. The desk area has slowly become a nightmare area again. I know I shouldn't worry about what she will think but I do think about it and I am feeling like I need to try to clean that area again. My MIL is a neat freak and I always say to myself after she leaves that I am going to surprise her next visit by having an area of the house cleaned.
I also have a hubby who does not help much around the house. He works hard at his job and is often tired when he gets home. I am a stay at home mom. Because he doesn't help much with the cleaning, I insist on having a cleaning service. They get the basic cleaning done - the bathrooms, kitchen sink, vaccuming and mopping floors, dusting blinds and bookshelves. At the moment we are somewhat struggling financially with keeping the service but to me they are worth every penny!
They come every three weeks. I usually have to do a mad dash and stash one day prior to their arrival but this helps keep the main areas of the house from getting too piled. I also feel compelled to remind them to ignore all the covered, stacked surfaces in every room. I tell myself the same thing when my MIL leaves that one day they will be surprised by a clean spot.
So, I will be doing my own MIL count down... You sound like you are doing really well and have made a lot of progress! Keep it up! When are your inlaws due for their visit?
Keriamon, you gave a lot of great suggestions! I thank you for them as well. I really liked the idea of having a 12 month filing system. My outdated filing system has a file for every kind of bill, receipt, paper - you name it. There are simply too many files and I am always in need of creating new ones for new "types" of paper! I have not filed anything in a long, long time. My papers are stacked and stacked and piled in bags all over my house. So, I am going to take some baby steps in creating a new 12 month system. Thanks!
Packy
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Post by morningglory on Jun 13, 2009 21:47:06 GMT -5
Cando, thank you SO much for the emotional support. It really helps.
Packy, thanks for sharing my angst here. My in-laws are due to arrive July 10th. As I said, there is a chance they might cancel before it ever happens! But the family event is planned for the 11th, so in all likelihood they will be here.
I am more and more leaning toward making a cleaning service a necessity, for the same reason you mention. My husband really can't contribute that much. Even with the kids helping out, they certainly cause more mess than they clean up. If I had someone just doing bathroom, mopping floors, changing the bed sheets, wiping down the stove, etc, it would make a huge difference. And it would be a regular incentive to at least neaten up enough to have them come in. The big hitch for me is that I need to do some significant desqualoring BEFORE I can have them do the cleaning! It's a goal, anyway.
Got nothing done today, as it is our day of rest. But I hope to get some stuff accomplished tomorrow, putting away the stuff in the living room.
Thanks again to everyone for the support so far. I really need it! I plan to post another update tomorrow.
Morning Glory
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keriamon
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Posts: 61
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Post by keriamon on Jun 13, 2009 23:43:45 GMT -5
Shoot, if I had the money, we'd have a cleaning service. If I get a job, I will be staying in another city during the week. If the job pays as well as my old one, or better, I'm going to cough up the money to have weekly maid service. That way, when I come home on the weekends, I won't have to catch up the dishes, the vacuuming, mopping, etc. I hope maybe they can even do some or all of my husband's laundry. Because I know my husband won't do these things while I am gone, and we'll be needing to spend our weekends packing up stuff, putting it into storage, donating stuff to Goodwill and hauling away trash, because when I get a job, the house goes on the market. Weekly maid service could keep it looking show-ready, even with my husband still living in it!
And, oh man, I want someone to do our windows! We have storm windows and they don't come off, so there's no good way to clean up in between the regular windows and the storm windows in the top-section. I hate and loathe these windows and whatever house we eventually buy or build to replace this one, no storm windows! I don't think the insides have ever been washed, and the place is 23 years old!
Oh, and I did get a bookcase! Two, in fact! I've already put one together and got it in the house and piled up with movies. I will put the other one together tomorrow after church and start loading it up with books. With that situational problem dealt with, I hope I can finish off the living room next week. I've been kind of stalled out this week over it, because I needed to keep most of the books on the old bookcase until I could bring something in to replace it. And I let myself make excuses for not tackling every other part of the living room.
Have you ever noticed yourself doing that? Saying, I need to do this right, and until I can get it done, I will work on nothing else? I think that's a perfectionism thing. All or nothing.
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