packy
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Joined: February 2009
Posts: 56
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Post by packy on Jun 30, 2009 9:25:31 GMT -5
Today is the day for my MIL visit.... I'll be picking her up at the airport around 2:00 pm. So I am somewhat scrambling to finish up anything that I can.
I went to hide my son's leapfrog system game box and three empty game boxes and thought better of it. I actually threw them in the garbage! I did keep the game manuals though. The empty boxes have been sitting in my dining room for two years and are now gone. Thanks for all the encouragement to give me the strength to let go!!
I also started a load of laundry and am off to fold two others to clear the rest of the dining room table. Why do I wait till the last minute on some of this?
Packy
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packy
New Member
Joined: February 2009
Posts: 56
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Post by packy on Jun 30, 2009 11:18:07 GMT -5
Stashing and dashing... Folded two loads of laundry and put away, folded and put away load I did this morning, wiped down bathrooms, cleared island in kitchen, picked up 3 yrs old room. I have a few things left to clear off of dining room table, need to bag the paper pile on the kitchen desk and I'll vacuum.
SIL got up and has retreated back into the guest room. About two hours until MIL arrives. I am trying not to stress about the guest room... not my problem and this will not fall on me. It still is causing a bit of anxiety though.
Overall, things look good. There are a couple of new cleared spots for MIL to see, otherwise they are the same piles she has always seen. This will have to do for this trip!
Thanks everyone for the support!
Packy
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Post by morningglory on Jun 30, 2009 12:56:31 GMT -5
Packy--great job throwing away the empty boxes!! I know how hard it is to do something as seemingly simple as that, but it makes SO MUCH SENSE! They don't store the games in there, and the manuals don't need to be stored in boxes!
From a behavioral perspective, I think the reason we wait until the last minute is because then the incentive is greater to get it done! Before that, we don't have sufficient motivation!
I'm supporting you 100% in not worrying about the guest room or the "same piles she has always seen". Your house is clean and she has a comfortable place to sit and visit, right? Who cares if she doesn't approve of your level of organization? You have done and are doing GREAT!
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keriamon
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Joined: June 2009
Posts: 61
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Post by keriamon on Jun 30, 2009 13:49:26 GMT -5
<<From a behavioral perspective, I think the reason we wait until the last minute is because then the incentive is greater to get it done! Before that, we don't have sufficient motivation!>>
Yes, motivation is a factor, but something I've found in myself is that I also enjoy a good rush of adreneline. Not enough to go bungee-diving off a bridge or anything, but I get a thrill out of working really fast and getting a lot accomplished in a short amount of time. But if I don't have a dealine, I don't push myself to work really hard and don't get the rush.
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Post by morningglory on Jun 30, 2009 17:02:06 GMT -5
Wow, keriamon--basically what you are describing is being addicted to procrastination! I never thought of it from that perspective!
Love,
Morning Glory
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Post by tinasabrina on Jul 1, 2009 2:06:45 GMT -5
You guys are almost making me wish I was expecting an important family guest because it really has gotten you motivated! Nice going!
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packy
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Joined: February 2009
Posts: 56
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Post by packy on Jul 1, 2009 19:52:17 GMT -5
Thanks again everyone... Things are going well with MIL. SIL was able to finally get up and clean the guest room. She did a very nice job. SIL is now gone.
MIL has already started little straightening projects. I don't have the courage to say anything to her about how it bothers me. She is a neat freak and I'm sure she does some of it without even thinking about it. Today she started going through my sons bookcase and making it look neat. On the one hand it bothered me, on the other hand it is one less place I need to fix. She is a very generous person and I know she means well. We will be going to the beach for a week in a few days so she won't have any more chances to fix things at my house this trip.
I am thinking of you Morningglory and Keriamon. I know your deadlines are approaching. The idea of that last minute rush is interesting. I will ponder on that some more! I know you both will get what you need done in time.
Packy
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Post by rubyred on Jul 2, 2009 7:54:03 GMT -5
Packy, I love my MIL but she does the same thing. I can clean and clean but I never feel the house is as clean as hers. Probably because while we're at level 1 in most rooms, we don't do the deep-cleaning unless as a rush before visitors.
So DH and I gave up our room to my MIL and her sister and they ended up sweeping the carpet; I hope she didn't look under the bed. Our vacuum's broken, dishwasher doesn't work, garbage disposal is stuck, oven blew a fuse but the stovetop works, but my husband just took a 10% pay cut and may lose his job and we just don't feel like we can spend hundreds of dollars to fix this.
Long story short, I don't feel my house will ever be perfect enough for the in-laws because their own places are so clean. I feel much more comfortable when MY family is here. I love both sides equally, but I don't think this feeling will ever change. Don't beat yourself up because you are not alone.
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Post by breakingfree on Jul 2, 2009 9:51:16 GMT -5
Packy, I love my MIL but she does the same thing. I can clean and clean but I never feel the house is as clean as hers. Probably because while we're at level 1 in most rooms, we don't do the deep-cleaning unless as a rush before visitors... Long story short, I don't feel my house will ever be perfect enough for the in-laws because their own places are so clean. I feel much more comfortable when MY family is here. I love both sides equally, but I don't think this feeling will ever change. Don't beat yourself up because you are not alone. So true! My parents (mainly my mother but my father to some extent) are hoarders so my house could be totally trashed and I could care less if my parents see it. Alas, when SO's family comes over, I stress over every little thing! They have a lovely log-cabin style home that looks like something out of a magazine, yet it is very comfortable. Logically my mind tells me that our home looks just fine, but I don't feel as though it does. That "ghost squalor" thing creeping up on me, I guess. BF |
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Post by morningglory on Jul 3, 2009 7:11:16 GMT -5
Packy, thanks so much for the support! I'm glad things are going ok with your MIL visit, and that you are able to look on the bright side about her straightening projects and not feel criticized.
Rubyred and breakingfree, thanks for sharing your perspectives. My parents had a mixed marriage--squaloree versus neat-freak! My dad is the neat freak and he is the one I have always been MOST nervous about having in the house. Over the years he has learned to bite his tongue (perhaps literally!). He always deliberately pushed his way into my house, precisely because he knew that if I didn't invite him in it must be because it is a mess. I finally figured that if he wants to see my mess that badly, then I am not protecting him from anything by talking to him on the porch! Whatever!
My mom, on the other hand, has always been a binge-purge type squaloree. Her place becomes a total wreck, then she tears through it like a tornado, cleaning and tossing out everything she can (my father and I found she had thrown away our treasured possessions on many occasions!).
It's ironic, though, that I thought HER being like she is would keep her from reacting to the disorder in MY house! :-)
Still haven't done those stairs...
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Post by morningglory on Jul 10, 2009 11:53:13 GMT -5
Haha. D-Day is here and guess what? They called to say they missed their plane! They do intend to be here eventually, are booked for the next flight which will take them to the lay-over, where they will be on standby for the next available flight here. But at the very earliest, they won't be here until very late tonight (not likely before bedtime). Otherwise, we won't see them until tomorrow, assuming they eventually do get a flight here!
So, unfortunate as this is, it sure relieves a LOT of the pressure, and gives us more time to organize and be prepared. Plus, they might not even come to our house at all, because the events tomorrow take place somewhere else, where we expect to spend most of the day. The next day they were planning to have my husband show them around town a little. Glad I didn't break my neck getting ready!
By the way, one of my little guys took care of the stairway sweeping and washing for me! Others did the front porch, and others did the kitchen counters! It's really nice to have helpers.
Love,
Morning Glory
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packy
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Joined: February 2009
Posts: 56
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Post by packy on Jul 12, 2009 14:15:34 GMT -5
Morningglory, I have been thinking about you in the past few days. We were at the beach and I couldn't remember the link to the board. I am glad to hear you had some help from you little guys. It can make a big difference to have even a bit of help sometimes. It sounds as though you will get through your visit just fine as well. Why do we cause our selves so much anxiety?
Keriamon, thinking of you too. Your visit must be upon you by now or very close?
Rubyred and Breakingfree thanks for your words. It is very comforting to know I am not the only one. My MIL left this morning. She picked up both kids rooms before she left. Having SIL and then MIL back to back was a bit much. Now I will have 3 weeks or so before my Mom visits! But, that will be easier!
Take care everyone, Packy
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Post by morningglory on Jul 13, 2009 11:46:10 GMT -5
Packy, thanks so much for checking in!
Yes, thankfully, the visit was just fine. All we did was get the living room, dining room, and bathroom neatened up. The place was still mostly a mess, otherwise.
The in-laws visited in our home for about two hours of the time that they were in town. Our out-of-town friends also visited in our home a bit (we are pretty close with them and trust them not to be too bothered).
Anyway, once the in-laws got home, my MIL sent a very sweet thank-you note to my husband, in which she included a few words about never apologizing for the condition of our home! (He had warned them before they came over about what it was like.) She said that our focus right now is on our family and that she was confident that over time we will accomplish whatever we wanted to with our house!
I must say that I was very pleased and grateful she was so supportive, because my husband was especially stressed about the situation and worried to an extreme about what his mother's reaction would be and what the fall-out after her visit would be like.
So, the essentials got done, the impact was minimal, and so far the after-effect is better than we could have hoped. Just still exhausted from the week of preparation and the festitivities themselves!
Love and thanks to all of you who encouraged me through this "countdown"!
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hopehope
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Post by hopehope on Jul 13, 2009 20:42:07 GMT -5
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