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Post by morningglory on Jun 22, 2009 11:19:31 GMT -5
Wow, packy, you are an inspiration to me. I know how hard it can be to just throw things out (including magazines) without looking through them first! And to do this while the dog is generating MORE work and your SIL is drawing energy away from you at the same time. Again, I say, wow.
I did take my much-needed nap. I think I slept deeply for at least an hour straight. I dragged myself away because I thought I was supposed to do a carpool at 11:00, but then after getting ready to go remembered that for today, only, another mother is doing that run. Well, anyway, at least I got to use that time to make some lunch and move on to the next phase of the day (though I am still sleepy!)
My mother is scheduled to arrive tomorrow night and the place just needs to be NOT GROSS for her. She won't mind clutter, disorder and so forth. But who wouldn't mind someone else's dirt and grime in the bathroom and kitchen!
So I need to shift everything quickly out of the main living spaces then spend my time scrubbing what is uncovered!
Feels like an impossible task...
Love, Morning Glory
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keriamon
New Member
Joined: June 2009
Posts: 61
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Post by keriamon on Jun 22, 2009 18:28:43 GMT -5
Now I have a deadline of my own, Morning Glory. My husband's having some guy friends over July 11.
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Post by morningglory on Jun 22, 2009 19:28:24 GMT -5
Wow, keriamon, you and I are working toward the same deadline date!
I'm about the through up my hands, honestly. I keep thinking there must be some way out of this!
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Post by seekingpeace on Jun 22, 2009 19:50:13 GMT -5
Hello, just read your thread and you are both working so hard. I applaud you! I hope you don't mind if I hijack your thread and share my MIL visit story for a moment? I was in awe of my perfect MIL and just a little afraid of her and having her actually SEE my home. Well we moved and the house was it's usual huge wreck only this time we have more rooms to fill up...and the phone rang and yup it was MIL and she was bringing her Best friend along to visit and see our new home. OK, fear hits me, then she tells me that she's calling from her CELL phone (this was 15 years ago...) and that they were actually about 10 minutes from my house. I panicked and grabbed the older girls and we threw everything into the rooms along the hallway and shut the doors and stuffed the closets with dirty dishes, etc you name it...
and feeling complete shame and fear, I lied and said I needed to go to work. I did home care and could get away with that lie. I left and didn't come home until she and her friend left.
Ok, survived that. or so I thought. Turns out that my ever so helpful 5 year old gave grammy and friend a house tour .... which included opening every door and every closet and showing her where I had crammed all the mess!! I cried. I didn' t think I could ever face MIL again. Well, she called me and told me herself that she'd had the tour and she just laughed and said how hard it must be for me to have all these kids and work and that she'd had unexpected company a few times herself when the kids were small. She never, ever commented on my lack of domestic skills, but every time she came to visit I felt that panic and shame. She was a good and loving MIL and I miss her as she has passed away. I can laugh at the story now, but I was in a rut for months after that experience.
best wishes on your journey!
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Post by morningglory on Jun 22, 2009 21:10:01 GMT -5
Seekingpeace, thank you SO MUCH for sharing that story of laughter and love. What a sweet memory, and how thoughful of your MIL to call you herself and allay your fears.
To be honest, my MIL hasn't commented to me on the state of our home, but that could be because in the nearly 28 years we have been married, she has visited us exactly four times. The first time, our little apartment was a mess (although hardly anything back when it was just the two of us in a studio, compared to the squalor we have now). Since my husband didn't bother to do any cleaning at that time, I deliberately went out before she got there to avoid the whole thing. I was embarrassed afterwards to find she had actually washed all our dishes by hand during the visit!
The second visit our apartment was cluttered but clean and organized.
The third visit was after the birth of our first child and our apartment was actually clean and neat at that time.
And the fourth visit was for a celebration in which many people came into our apartment, so we had it quite clean and neat then.
Also in each of these cases, our apartment (it was actually 4 different apartments) was not in disrepair. The walls were clean, painted, and without holes, etc., even though we didn't have much in the way of furniture or fancy decorations.
So I don't know what on earth she would think to see our house now. It's going to be bad enough for her to see the disrepair, without having to see the unbelievable amount of mess.
My mom, on the other hand, I am being honest with. I told her that I am going to try to have at least the dining room clean and neat for us to sit in, and to have the bedroom she will be staying in and the bathroom clean. I told her the living room and kitchen would probably just be usable and able to be passed through, because I know I won't have time to do everything!
Thanks for all the encouragement.
Love, Morning Glory
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Post by morningglory on Jun 23, 2009 15:13:08 GMT -5
Wow. Just the best thing, a real blessing. My 17-year-old decided to clean. He worked for probably 12 hours so far and totally made the living room and dining room presentable enough for my mother. I only need to clean up the bathroom and kitchen so they are not gross.
I am so thankful and amazed. I am really looking forward to this visit. Although the house is FAR from perfect, I think she will really feel comfortable and happy to be with us.
Wow.
She should be here in about 3 or 4 hours, so I'll be working on the remaining things between now and then.
Love, Morning Glory
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Post by morningglory on Jun 23, 2009 17:53:39 GMT -5
My mom delayed leaving, so I am still expecting another hour or so before her arrival, which is fine because, needless to say, I haven't finished the last things to be cleaned! However, in the meantime, my daughter did a lot of cleaning and straightening in the kitchen, and another son agreed to bag up laundry from the hallway and sweep the floor there. :-)
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hopehope
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,815
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Post by hopehope on Jun 23, 2009 18:20:49 GMT -5
have a wonderful visit.
i am so glad your children are working with you.
enjoy.
- hopey
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Post by morningglory on Jun 23, 2009 19:11:27 GMT -5
THANK YOU, Hopehope! I anticipate a fun visit with my mom.
Then I'll just have to buckle down and finish up before the in-laws get here!
Love, Morning Glory
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Post by seekingpeace on Jun 24, 2009 7:08:53 GMT -5
Sounds like you are doing great, Morning Glory. And to have your teens help out for so many hours. Great Kids! I would be leaving little thank you/love notes on their pillows tonight!
hee hee, I find a written thank you love note = more cleaning volunteers in the future! something about being able to hold your thanks in their hands on a piece of paper!
Hope your visit is wonderful and don't stress any more about MIL, that visit will be over quickly. And if you don't want her in the house, suggest a "field trip" around town to see all the places that are important to your children - their schools, favorite park, library, etc, etc and do a picnic out - and stress that you want to give them visuals of your children's lives.. and take lots of pictures and make a scrapbook for kids and grands to share? You will be fine, you've already accomplished so much! ((hugs to you))
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Post by morningglory on Jun 29, 2009 6:48:04 GMT -5
Thanks, seekingpeace! And good advice about the in-laws! They will, of course, want to see the house, since they never have. But for the most part we can be busy around town. I really have lost the heart for trying to put up a false front to them, anyway. Sure, I don't want the house to be gross, but if they see it is in disrepair and not spotless and cluttered around the edges, so be it.
The visit with my mom was a blast. She is so crazy and uninhibited she had us all laughing. I was concerned about having a dog in the house, but her dog turned out to be super gentle and sweet (in addition to being very old and arthritic, so not prone to running wild). The kids really enjoyed visiting with him, as well as with their grandmother.
After she left, I got about 5 loads of clean laundry put away that I had temporarily stashed in the bedroom. So when my husband got home from his trip he was pleased to find a totally open living room floor, and that the bedroom was not stacked up with baskets (as it had been while he was away).
The funny thing is, my mom was very concerned about the boys' room. They did not do one thing to improve it before she came, so it is the highest level of squalor in the house right now--clothes, trash, dishes, books, toys, and everything else stacked high everywhere. I didn't bother to hide any rooms from her, so she saw how they have it. She didn't say anything at the time, but right after she got home she started saying I ought to buy shelves for them so they could organize their things on them. I told her that actually they have built-in shelves and drawers in their closet that they don't use, and that as they are all getting new beds (currently 2 of the 3 are sleeping on mattresses), I was going to encourage them to put their possessions into boxes that can be stored underneath and easily accessed.
I wasn't at all bothered by her suggestion (although surprised, because as I mentioned, I thought she would be more disturbed by dirt and dust--which she says she didn't even notice!). But SHE was super nervous that I would be offended. She kept apologizing and after I'd already forgotten the whole thing I got another email from her saying that she was so ashamed for butting in and it was just her own need for organization, etc! :-)
Obviously, I would love to see their room neat and clean, too, and we are working in that direction. But, honestly, I am not going to stress about it. And I'm not going to get all upset that she thinks I should put shelves in there!
Anyway, now that I've had a couple days rest and getting hubby decompressed from his trip, I hope to make more progress on the remaining dirt, dust, and disorganization before the in-laws come!
Lots of love to everyone, Morning Glory
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Post by morningglory on Jun 29, 2009 7:02:58 GMT -5
Project for today - Clean stairway: Sweep and scrub stairs Wash walls Wash banister and rails
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packy
New Member
Joined: February 2009
Posts: 56
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Post by packy on Jun 29, 2009 10:44:10 GMT -5
Morningglory, you have accomplished so much that you have to feel great! I am glad you enjoyed your Mother's visit. It is wonderful that your teenager helped out. I agree with Seekingpeace's suggestions and also thank her for sharing her MIL story!
I have basically resigned myself that I am not going to get much else done around here. My SIL has decided to stay until MIL gets here so we will have no break with a one day overlap. I am just trying to keep up with the day to day mess! An extra person can really add to the dishes and stuff laying around. My guest room (where SIL is currently and MIL is going to stay) is trashed. My husband said SIL will clean it. Black fur is everywhere and normally this room is pet free! MIL does understand about SIL though so this will not fall on me.
I was able to throw a bunch of magazines into the recycling and cleared off a small table. MIL will like the table being cleared. As far as the desk goes, I did remove obvious stuff but the papers will be going in a sack to sort out later. I straightened it up a bit and that will have to do! Our main focus is our beach trip so it should be fine. My MIL never says anything to me about the piles but she has been known to straighten things sometimes.
Keriamon, jump aboard! You can do it too. In a way it can be more stressfull to have friends over verses family but on the other hand, remember you can always use bedrooms and closets to hide stuff in for the short term. Unless you have a young 5 yr old like Seekingpeace who wants to tell all! : )
We can do this!
Packy
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Post by seekingpeace on Jun 29, 2009 16:28:24 GMT -5
everyone seems to be making great progress!! yay!
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hopehope
Banned
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 3,815
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Post by hopehope on Jun 29, 2009 21:49:07 GMT -5
your mom sounds wonderful.
congratulations on all the progress.
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